Does anyone have any advice? Possible TW

So my partner and I have been having problems with our sex life. The most recent time (last night) I had a massive panic attack half way through and we had to stop. This has happened so many times in the last year we've been together, with and without alcohol involved. Last night was the worst reaction I've had so far. Bit of back story.... these reactions started happening after one night we were at a party together and started having sex and he was being a little more forward than he usually had and I wasn't enjoying it. After a while I asked to stop and we did, but I felt bad and like I had let him down. After we stopped he asked if he could give me oral or use his fingers and I felt like I had to (we didn't). I felt uncomfortable and after that incident it took 3 months before we could have sex again without me freaking out. But it'sstarted happening again in the last 6 or so months. I want to make it clear he didn't force me to do anything and he didn't r4p3 me either. It's not like I don't want to have sex with him, I do. But half way through I start freaking out and was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how I can manage this? Do I need to relax more? Any tips will really help. Thanks in advance (btw I'd use paragraphs but this app doesn't let me anymore)