“Don’t take this the wrong way”

Is how my husband started talking to me tonight. I. Am. Exhausted. My 4 month old has been dealing with reflux and my 3.5 year old is testing boundaries left and right. I’m not sleeping. My husband takes the first nightly feed (12-2/3:00) and I do the rest. My 4 month old is still getting up like a newborn because of the reflux. My 3.5 year old won’t go to bed/sleep before 11/11:30. My husband slept until noon yesterday and almost 1:30 today. So no matter the time he goes to bed he’s still getting more than enough sleep when he does sleep.

He kept asking how I was today because I kept getting things wrong. Like, making lunch from leftovers of rice and chicken, I forgot to reheat the rice before putting it on the plate. I’ve been telling him I’m just really REALLY tired. So tonight he tells me “Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m a guy so I get it. I don’t keep talking about it over and over. I know I can’t change it so I don’t see a point in bringing it up all the time.” Then to clarify that he wants me to stop telling him I’m tired or I’m having a hard time with the kids.

This made me take a step back because I wasn’t complaining when he said it. I had just got telling him to not worry about doing the night feeds anymore because he was tired. I told him that I’m used to being tired all the time and he’s told me in the past with our 3.5 yr old, “there’s no sense in both of us being tired”. So for him to get more sleep he can just leave the baby to me for the night time feeds. I was trying to be sweet but apparently there’s another way I can do him a favor and that’s to shut up about how I’m getting along.