What should I do about this…

Question

So this is a big long and weird but…
my homegirl (22) and I (22) work together there was this guy (24) that I found cute (so did he to me and he actually tried to him on me a few years prior) we exchanged numbers and begin to talk a little bit..well he also had my homegirl’s sc but they didn’t really speak and then stopped after him and I began talking more (this was around the same time he got my # so it didn’t bother me much plus he didn’t know her and I were friends) well I invited him out a lot to events with my homegirl, other friends and I, he would go but only hang with me and communicate with the others (as there coworkers) well he began to bring it to my attention that he felt she was flirting with him..I blew it off but the reason being is at my birthday she was trying to find ways to bring his attention to her, and she constantly stared at him.. after a few days though she told me she had her a guy she was seeing but it wasn’t serious as her boyfriend is in jail.. so we all began to go out together but when around the guy I’m talking to she avoided any lovey behavior she’d have with him usually (the dude she’s seeing). One thing that rose a red flag was when her and I were talking about her situation with her man that’s in jail she doesn’t care who hears it except for the guy I’m speaking too… that being said I feel the guy I’m with is right..maybe I’m wrong with my thinking but when him and I took it a step into the relationship stage she immediately began to stop hanging with us as much and won’t text me as much as she use too..I’ve asked her a few times before him and I got serious if she liked him and she said no and I asked her if him and I were to start talking would that offend her and she told me all was fine and she just stares because he’s weird…now that we’re where we are he wants me to talk to her about this situation because she’s my friend and to tell her to back off. So I guess my question is how do I talk to her about this, what do I do..and does it sound like she likes him..?
I have speculated that maybe they were seeing each other at one point, but I feel like that’s jumping too much into it..￼

Answer

If she’s your friend and values the relationship, she will cut the crap. If not, then you know her true colors and was never really your friend. Only when it’s convenient for her. If the guy values the relationship with you, he would say to your friend look in seeing your friend you need to back off and respect the relationship or there is the door. If he is entertaining her and trying to play both sides, and keeping her as a side piece or a back up plan that’s not fair to you. And you need to drop him if he’s doing that.

Answer

Why is he putting it all on you? He can set boundaries as well. Make it clear he's in a relationship with you and only you. It's not just on you. If my husband had a friend that I felt was coming on to me, ofc I'd tell my husband my thoughts and get his, but I'd also be doing everything to make it very clear I'm taken and happy that way. You keep pushing those lines, making me uncomfortable when you're around, you won't be around. Guaranteed my husband would drop a friend real fast if they didn't learn to respect our boundaries as a couple. That kind of disrespect has no place in our lives. But it's still a united front. Not just me. Not just him. Both of us.

What should I do about this…

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey