Timid, shy almost 4 yr old?

Question

My almost 4 year old has been around mostly adults growing up (no siblings or cousins). He was at daycare when he was younger and did great socially, but his nature is that hes a bit timid and shy and takes time to warm up to people.
Whenever i take him around a group of people who he doesnt know, he always says “mama hold me hold me im scared” 🥺 eventually he warms up to them but it takes some time.
Anyone else had a shy child and how did you help them?

Answer

I encourage my child that it’s perfectly ok to be shy and to take as much time as she needs. It’s a good skill to take a moment to gather your surroundings.

Answer

I would avoid labeling her as shy. Don't say to people in front of her that she's being shy. Or anything like that. What I say to my daughter when she is feeling shy is, "that's OK, I feel scared sometimes too. You can stay with me for as long as you'd like." If someone else points out that she's shy, I usually say something like, "that's OK. We all feel a little scared sometimes." And then of course she always warms up in a relatively short amount of time. If she's extremely nervous, I will just say, "hey, let's go sit in the other room for a minute and then come back out and try again." Then I will take her into a quieter room and breathe with her, talk to her, and try to help her regulate. It only happened one time when I had to do that. I thought it was so strange. She even put her jacket over her face because she didn't want the people in the room to see her lol poor kid. For no reason other than she was just really nervous about meeting new people. She's gotten much better since then. ￼￼￼

Answer

My daughter is not as shy anymore (she's 4) but was previously. I just let her be shy, but I didn't label her as shy, she was just feeling shy. I told her that it's okay to feel shy, that I feel shy sometimes, and that she can join in when she's ready. I acknowledged that it can be scary sometimes and that it's okay to feel scared. She used to refuse to talk to her ballet teacher or look at her soccer coach but I let her do it on her time and she has come out of her shell. I was incredibly shy as a child and being forced to participate in things never helped me, it just caused me to develop more anxiety (which I brought with me into adulthood). I make it a point to let my daughter know that people feel outgoing sometimes and  people feel shy sometimes and all of it is okay. I'm here when she needs me to be here and we just kept doing classes and I would be there and she just got more and more confident to try things on her own. 
I'll also say that it's okay for kids to be shy (to an extent) because the outgoing ones will go and talk to every person and stranger danger is real. Shy ones will keep to themselves, so that's a plus! We are always so concerned about kids being shy but everyone is different. Letting my daughter know that it's absolutely okay to be right where she is has helped her more than anything else!

Answer

I would suggest taking him around ppl and kids more often. My son was very social at the age and I feel like it was because he was in daycare early on and we have a lot of kids in our family.

Timid, shy almost 4 yr old?

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