TW: suicidal thoughts and conversations

Over a year ago, my brother had a total mental health crisis (not his first). I ended up getting a call from him at 1 AM sobbing, saying things like “I don’t think I’m ever going to get out of this” and other things of that nature. The conversation led to me trying to convince him not to end his life. Thankfully, he was able to calm down that night but I think about it every single day. The emotional toll this has taken on me has affected my own health, both mentally and physically. It was so scary and I never want to do that again. He is an alcoholic with severe anxiety, paranoia, depression, and OCD. He may even have some sort of personality disorder. Has anyone dealt with this? I am just so tired. I love him but I can’t be that person for him. The guilt of that admission is so heavy.