I’ve been with my husband for about 8 years. & I’m pregnant AGAIN. I swear I’ve done what you were supposed to as a wife & mother. I’ve changed my whole life around, cut off so many people, isolated myself, worked 10 hour shifts, lost sleep, put my needs behind me, took care of my kids with that man giving me 40% & me giving 150. I believed that this was the way to go for marriage, I mean no one told me otherwise.

His own family tried to tell me about him but I ignored & stayed. Now? I regret it. I don’t regret the kids we made but I regret staying when he showed all the red flags. I regret allowing someone to tear down these walls only to take a sledge hammer to it repeatedly. I grieve for the life I COULD have had. Like why do guys come in your life with the most disgusting baggage (I get having baggage) but the repulsive baggage? Nah you should have had that fixed. I had to repair you & allowed sooo much just for you to feel high & mighty as if I didn’t give you EVERYTHING.

It’s the pretending to be perfect for 4 days then for 5 you act like the POS you are. It’s the disrespect as if I didn’t carry each & every one of your kids close to death each time that Dr said push.

I feel disgusted when I think of him but when he’s around I feel so bad cause he’s just had disappointment after disappointment but that doesn’t give him a right to do me the way he does cause I would have NEVER. I just want to leave & find better. That’s what I deserve. That’s what my kids deserve.