How can I address this problem without being harsh?

Question

Hi, so I’ve been dating this guy for about a month now and I enjoy our Connection however he does this thing that comes across tone deaf and ignorant I’d like to nip this in the bud early on so I don’t face these issues in the long haul. 
I’ll make this short the other day we were on the phone chatting about a case that I came across (the Chris watts case) I explained to him that Chris annihilated his entire family (went into detail) and I said “This is one of the sickest cases I’ve come across I can’t believe someone could off their entire family with no remorse” he proceeded to say “yeah that’s sad, but you know what hats even sadder when Obama nuked an entire hospital in the Middle East” 
Okay I get it that’s terrible but he does this thing where everything is a competition and two things can be wrong at the same time it doesn’t or shouldn’t minimize the other. It’s driving me nuts because he constantly does it I’ll bring up something that’s heartbreaking and he’ll be like “yeah but what’s going on in Gaza is even sadder” NO ONE SAID IT ISNT 
How can I tell him that how he comes across on certain issues is overbearing, it’s like having a d*ck swinging contest with him or like he’s trying to prove something.

Answer

That would drive me crazy. Next time he does it I’d maybe say something like “hey it doesn’t have to be a competition, I was just trying to talk to you about this thing, can you please not make it about something else or try to one up me?”. Unfortunately though if that’s a habit that’s hardwired he may not stop doing it unless you make it a bigger issue, then he’ll either make an effort to stop or he’ll dig his heels in and argue the point in which case you’ll know it’s a lost cause.

Answer

I think you need to just be direct and tell him like you did here. Like how would he feel if he came home from a bad day and youre like 'yeah well people are homeless and hungry so their day was worse than yours' it's obnoxious and goes without saying, but conversation should be validating and supportive unless theres good reason to object. If he argues, and you notice anything else condescending, mansplaining etc that would be a red flag to me of his character.

Answer

It’s been a month. Just end it lol

Answer

I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. I’d politely bring it up the next time it happens. You’ve only been together for a month. This is supposed to be the point in a new relationship that you shouldn’t be feeling irritated by things get 😂 the honeymoon phase is usually still in full swing. If he understands and stops, all good. If he gets mad or won’t change, time to leave. Get out before you get in too deep in the relationship if it isn’t going to change

Answer

So annoying and he probably has no idea he does it. Mention it to him. Maybe he’ll stop or at least try to stop.

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Completely irrelevant comeback imo, how Barack would have dealt with the aftermath would have been healthy and full of counselling, support from Michelle etc. That family annihilator who I do not mention by name because he DISGUSTS me, went on to go on the news and cry and plead for his family to come home knowing full well they never would. He is a cretin of a man, who thankfully has to always look over his shoulder in prison! He killed his babies and his pregnant wife all because he was shagging some younger thing, DISGUSTING.

Answer

I think people do that when they don't know anything about what you're talking about. He's changing the topic because he has no informed thoughts on it. It's almost like they want to switch to talking about something that they won't look stupid talking about because they know more about it. I would ask him to stay on topic with you for a moment and when you're done, you can discuss his topic. that is extremely annoying though. ￼

Answer

yeah the events he named are terrible and arguably worse but that doesn’t make any of the other horrible things in the world less sad.
sounds like he’s just virtue signaling and doesn’t care about the things you’re talking about and probably never will. my bf isn’t into true crime like I am but he’ll listen and have a conversation about it with me and watch videos bc he cares about my interests. you just don’t sound compatible

How can I address this problem without being harsh?

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