Is it reasonable or unreasonable expectations for a mom and six month old baby who feeds every 45 minutes to 2 hours to have the house clean and have dinner off when the dad gets home?

For context Dad works 4-nine hour days, does his own laundry and occasionally moves furniture around. He consistently worries about everything so much that he is very

depressed and snapping at little things. Then he blows up if I get angry for how he's acting. If I even have the slightest change in behavior. I don't even have to do anything. I could literally be by myself making dinner and he'll come over and tell me to stop being angry. There's times I'm not and still get called out. I stand up for myself though. If I'm angry and have any of what he calls stomping around he gets very angry and he tells me about it. He says that when the baby was born something broke inside him and he doesn't know what it is or how to fix it. He's been feeling like this for 6 months and I'm exhausted because of it. Every little thing I do seems to upset him. Having emotions consistent with pregnancy and the first year of motherhood is a problem. Feeling sad my OB is moving facilities he can't handle. I'm told that I act like it's my way or the highway and a like a bi*** and have since I got pregnant. We are married and have been for almost 12 years. I don't understand what's happening.

Mom and baby clean in the time Mom would use for naps by baby wearing when baby will allow, but baby prefers contact naps in his bedroom together. When I get the chance I clean till Dad calls he's heading home from work which can very per day. It's a half an hour home and I'm baby wearing making dinner, so it's hard to get anything down quickly. I also have food allergies and eat a different meal from the Dad, so I have to make that separate after I finish making his stuff. Usually baby wants to feed in-between all of this and then baby eats part of a meal at the table, of which I usually feed baby during Dad's meal. Dad will hold baby and entertain him while I make my meal and eat it. It then try to do more dishes or clean up afterwards before we watch a movie. After an intense argument last night my husband asked my why I couldn't have both dinners off at one time so we could eat together. He literally can't understand why I can't seem to do that consistently and that I'm eating at 8:30-9 at night. He goes to be about 10:30. I've tried explaining it to him, but he doesn't seem to grasp just how difficult it is for me. We have had almost no help since he's been born and my husband hasn't helped at night for over 3 months because I thought he needed more rest and told him he could treat in a different bedroom, so he gets as much sleep as he can when he can get his brain to shut down. Only is the past two weeks have I gotten 4-5 hours of interrupted sleep because baby has rested better through the night. Before that he fed every 45 minutes to 2 or sometimes 3 hours round the clock.

Am I being unreasonable to think I get dinner off for me when I can or that maybe he should quit complaining and help me with things he upset about? I'm trying really hard and I feel like my husband is allowing mental stress to make him sick and unable to step up to do housework.

Am I being unreasonable?a