As a man, did I do anything wrong?

Question

For the past few months I had been dating a girl I met at her job. It had only been 2 months. She recently went to the doctors and found out she was pregnant. I was so disappointed in myself and I’m such in a dark place of my life right now I told her we should terminate and she agreed. 
She asked that I spend 4 days with her to comfort her which would’ve been a week before that procedure. I did agree however I never came any of those days. I offered to come the next day and she said ok but something came up so I couldn’t come. I spoke to her later that day and she asked why I’ve been so distant, I told her it’s because this pregnancy just threw me off. I told her I haven’t eaten in days and that I really just don’t want the baby. I have 3 already and my youngest just turned 2. 
She kept asking if we would continue dating after this and if I would leave her after this and I told her no so many times. It seems she was scared I would go on with my life after she terminated. 
Later that week she invited me over and said “if you still need some space totally fine, no hard feelings.” I never responded but I posted on instagram. The abortion procedure was supposed to the following week and I hadn’t  heard anything from her at all. She told me so many times she didn’t wanna do this but that she would bc it was the best decision. She now leaves me with a text of “I want to keep it, I’m sorry😔” I texted and called her so many times but no response. I haven’t heard anything from her in 9 days. I’ve went by her house and job but she wasn’t there and if she is she won’t answer her door. 
Advice please. I’m guessing she wants to do this by herself. Did I do anything wrong?

Answer

In my opinion, yes. If she agreed to terminate a pregnancy because you suggested it, the least you could’ve done is be more supportive. I get that you had stuff going on too, but pregnancy can be very difficult, even early on. All the hormones & sickness can be really difficult & confusing for some people. She just asked that you be there for her & you weren’t. Then you offered to come over & didn’t. Then she asked for some reassurance that you wouldn’t just take off after she gets an abortion & it seems like you probably weren’t that reassuring. Also, just because an abortion is the “best decision,” doesn’t make it easy & it doesn’t seem like you cared about her feelings very much.

Answer

Sure you had a lot going on mentally, but like she’s the one who’s pregnant. Not only does she have a lot going on mentally, her hormones are all changing and shit. All she asked of you was that you come over. You lied to her. You said you would and then didn’t. You can say all you want about “I thought about her everyday” but your actions didn’t match up. You can’t say you’re going to do something and then not and expect her to act like everything is fine. You aren’t the one pregnant. You don’t have as much to deal with as she does. You got to ignore shit. While she has to find places to get it done, call those places and set it up. She has to be the one getting it done. And she doesn’t even really want to but will because you want her to. And you can’t even fucking show up? How can she believe you when you say “I’ll still want to be with you after this” when you told her you would come over for a couple days and you didnt. You aren’t trustworthy or reliable. She can’t count on you.

Answer

I don't think she technically wants to do it by herself. But you've made it very clear that you don't want a child and you don't want to stay with her. So she's walking away from you and doing what she wants to do. She will eventually place you on child support because you can't just not financially support a child you helped create unless you sign your rights away which you are entitled to do.

Answer

Awful man.

Answer

You did wrong by doing absolutely nothing. Had you been there like you said you would be and reassured her through the process you might not have been in the situation. But congratulations on having another kid! Hope you learnt your lesson.

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yes you were wrong, you should have been there for her. having an abortion is not easy whether you want the baby or not. but what’s done is done so just give her space, she likely will reach out when she’s ready. even if you don’t want the baby, if you want to be in the babies life at all you need to be supportive because it is her decision. if you don’t want to be involved you’ll probably be paying child support

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Besides not supporting her after having unprotected sex with her? Having children, surely you know how babies are made.

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Umm yeah buddy pretty sure you are already attached which is why you’re concerned with her keeping the baby. I am glad she’s doing what’s best for her and not what conveniences you.

Answer

I try my best to not be negative and try to see the bright side of things but man… you fucked up. I do give you credit for recognizing and questioning yourself, then ask for advice. However, people’s actions like this baffles me. I can tell you right now, she didn’t want to terminate and the only reason why she agreed to it is because she probably thinks you will leave her on her own and right now she hasn’t heard that heart beat she thinks the worst thing is to lose you. She is in the most vulnerable state in the pregnancy and all she asked was support and reassurance, you can’t even provide that. I really don’t understand why put yourself in this position… just to get your dick wet and leave her with the most life altering experience? If she decides to abort I hope it’s something she truly wanted not because of you, if she decides to keep it you better step up as man either be a dad to that baby or have your wallet ready to provide financially from a distance. I’m sorry to say this but shame on you. This girl or this baby (who yet can’t make decisions for itself) will suffer because you wanted to have a bliss moment and have someone else pay the consequences. This hits home for me, I dealt a guy like you and unfortunately how stressed out and sad I was, I lost the baby by miscarriage. As grateful as I am to not ever deal with that childish man again but I wish the circumstances were different for that little soul. You probably will get backlash but at the end of the day, you’re gonna do what you want.

Answer

this HAS to be fake😵‍💫

As a man, did I do anything wrong?

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