He has this one friend that anytime my husband goes and sees, he’s gone for a long time. It’s almost never just a quick hi/bye situation. We just finished dinner and a walk with newborn & toddler and he says he’s leaving at like 7ish to get his grill from his friend who lives 8 min away from us. Okay.. 9pm rolls around and I’m trying to get our newborn fed, changed while pumping and also the same with our toddler. He’s nowhere to be seen. So I’m like, okay maybe it’s just taking longer. He needs guy time… whatever. Even though he gets it throughout every week and every weekend and doesn’t update anything with me.

I’ve got the boys in bed, I’m snacking and reading my Bible and notice it’s now 11pm and he’s still not home and no text, calls from him. Okay… I lay down and look to see where he’s at, maybe he’s just drunk (he drinks a lot) at his friends house. He’s at a golf place, where you can drink and hit balls just out in the open. No updates, nothing from him.

12 am comes and he’s still not home so I’m working on going to sleep. Can’t sleep because I’m irritated that once again us as a family isn’t important to him and when it hits 1am… he comes home WREAKING OF BEER. I could smell it the second he walked into our bedroom. I’m almost asleep so I don’t say anything. Not like it would change anything anyways. But it’s also weird because the friend he went too… has never ever ever done anything with golf. So who did he go with to play golf and who bought him that much beer because we are broke. I can still smell the beer now while feeding our newborn and it’s 4 am.

I’m trying to give him grace but I want to say eff you and leave with the boys. Between this crap he pulls and other things… plus I NEVER get a break. Ever. I breastfeed so i can’t go anywhere that far and he won’t let me. I’ve asked, even told him and just left. He’ll call me 15 min in telling me I need to get home and I can hear the baby crying. I want to scream. Am I overreacting? We are always last and just can’t take it anymore.