i am struggling so bad. i want to run away or not be here anymore. im pregnant about to have a baby in a few days. i have a toddler. i have no one but my kids and i know they love me but i can’t be the best mom i can be because i am struggling so hard. the only two people in my life are my mom and my husband. my husband has abandoned me and our kids and doesn’t care or acknowledge the weight he’s put on me. my mom is bipolar and treats me like garbage she is absolutely vile... i am so heartbroken and i am trapped. i am so stuck, i love my children more than anything but i can’t anymore.. i don’t know what i am doing. i am just a person in a shell barely surviving everyday. my kids keep me going and strong. i am in therapy and she does what a therapist should do but its not enough. i have no support. i have no escape. no break. no outlet. i have nothing but my precious children who i never let me see breakdown and i stay strong for them but im so tired. i have nothing left in me. i’m always giving and doing and making sure everyone is happy and okay. i’m always making sure they have what they want and what they need. always trying to please. i feel horrible about myself. i feel like such a bad person and a bad mom. i don’t know why i deserve this or what i’ve done so wrong. im always crying. no one knows if something is wrong or off about me. nobody loves me or cares. nobody notices anything. i have cried for 2 days straight. i can’t eat. i can’t sleep. i’m in pain im having labor pains i guess from all the stress and im scared to have a baby completely alone. what am i supposed to do. i don’t have any more options it feels. i’ve tried and tried for so long and nothing is better. my life is in shambles literally being ripped from under my feet. my heart physically aches and all i can do is think of my kids and hold on for a little longer but i feel like im drowning. i have no friends. i have no family besides my mom and my husband. i’m at a loss. i can’t do this anymore but i need to for my kids. what do i do. i am broken and i don’t know who i am anymore. i can hardly breathe it feels like.