I honestly don’t know how my body can possibly take 40+ more days of this. My belly is starting to fold over, baby has dropped so much, boobs are leaking, and the debilitating pain all around my pelvic region is so sharp sometimes I can’t stand up straight and have to walk around either hunched over or feel like I’m getting stabbed in the bladder. The lightning crotch is the worst. My anxiety is the worst. I packed my go bag today not only out of hope but fear of going into labor. I constantly wonder if I got my dates wrong. If I mistook those last days of bleeding I had as a short, light period due to the fertility supplements I had begun taking. Was it actually heavy implantation bleeding..? She was in the 93rd percentile when I last had an ultrasound at 28 weeks. I’m 34 weeks now and I just feel like I’m crumbling. I do NOT remember the end of my first pregnancy being so hard. I have a Dr’s appointment tomorrow and therapy the next day. I feel like I just keep getting told these feelings are “normal” and “everyone always thinks they’re gonna go early” and “every pregnancy is different” and “the second pregnancy just hits harder” 😞 I’ve been told a lot of things by doctors throughout my life and my body always seems to be like Nope! Let’s humble someone and do the opposite. With my first my doctor kept saying “this is a marathon, not a sprint” all day and wouldn’t approve me for an epidural, even though I was crying in pain and couldn’t even speak or move through contractions anymore, because I wasn’t dilated enough. Well after 10 hours of contractions my cervix went from 2cm to gone in under an hour. Didn’t get that epidural I’d been crying for 🙄

If you’ve read this all thank you for listening. I’m so stressed and this just turned into a whole ass vent post.