Ive been hooking up with this guy for a few years. Honestly he can get aggressive with it. At first it was just that he wanted to do anal and didn’t like that I would move when it hurt or was uncomfortable and would make comments. There was a time in January that he made my throat bleed because he kept forcing my head down while I was sucking his dick. But I forgave him because when I talked to him, he said he didn’t realize it at first and then stopped when he did notice it. But tonight made me realize that staying in denial will only make it worse.

Tonight, I was sucking his dick again. Same thing happened where I would try to pull off but he would force it. Except this time it felt more aggressive because he just kept pushing me down no matter how hard I tried to pull off and this time I was trying as much as I physically could. At the end, he wanted me to swallow. But at that point I think my body literally couldn’t take it anymore. I remember taking a break before he finished and coughing because my throat felt weird. I also remember feeling lightheaded. Afterward, he was really mad and I was confused. He points to this spot on his blanket and says I threw up. But I honestly don’t remember throwing up. He was really mean to me after and said my apology didn’t fix that he had no blanket to be comfortable in his bed. I’m just really upset.

I kind of wonder if I was actually bleeding? I’m so confused? I want to go to urgent care a) to get checked out and b) to have documentation. But I’m scared.