Would you go ballistic? Because I'm going ballistic!

I have two kids and they both have two different dads. I have been in and off with both of them and gone between them. Please don't judge me... It's always been extremely complicated and there are things I love about both of them and things that break our relationship with both of them. Because of this "love triangle" they've both hated each other. I couldn't ever have both of them in the same room because they just go at it. I'll call my first baby daddy C and my second baby daddy J. Me and C have a daughter who is 5 and me and J have a son who is 2. And yes both my kids are paternity tested. They finally started to get along because I got arrested. I had warrants for unpaid tickets. That was it. They both had to help each other with our kids until I could go to court. So one watched both my kids while the other was at work and then when I was released they were the best of friends. I have gotten all my finds paid. I e been single. Neither of them tried to get back together with me. I've honestly been trying to find myself before entering a relationship. I have been co-parenting and hanging with friends. I've been fine. Welp. I was fine! I want to say that my baby daddy J has always been straight from what I've known. C is bi but mainly ever dated women. Tell me why tf I find out that the moment they became friends they went out for drinks. Got drunk and hooked up! I found this out from J's sister and I confronted them both and the admitted it happened and they started a relationship. I lost it on both of them and called names. I said I don't need their asses and I will raise my kids alone. I can't actually do that because there's custody orders but I'm hurt and don't want to see either of them. I don't want to be forced to co-parenting or see them. I don't care if they want to date men. Honestly thought about experimenting with women myself. But all the dick in world and they choose each other?!

Edit: I'm the bitter one 😂. Y'all the ones pressed enough to be rude to me on an app. I don't care if they don't want me. I already said I was enjoying being single. They didn't have to date each other is my point. I don't need either of these men.