My fiance and I are both 25. We have been together for 10 years. He proposed to me 3 years ago and I said yes. He’s been wanting to move forward with wedding planning, setting a date, etc. I told him I don’t want to set a date until he fixes certain things about himself that I don’t like and that I think will cause issues in our marriage later on in life. He brings up setting a wedding date at least once a month, he told me he can’t wait to marry me anymore and that he loves me. I told him I’m just trying to give our relationship the best chance to succeed.

Yesterday, he asked me where I’d like to go for our honeymoon and I told him to quit talking about marriage. He started quietly crying. He hardly ever cries so this was shocking to me. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that after 10 years together, he feels like I’m not serious about the relationship. He says that he wants to marry me as I am, but that I want him to change before I’ll marry him. He then gave me an ultimatum, he said either I pick a wedding date by the end of this month or he is ending our relationship and moving on.

I feel heartbroken that he would even suggest breaking up. He actually left our house last night and hasn’t been back home since. He did text me to let me know he made it safely to work and to ask me to let him know when I make it safely (this is something we do every morning).

I do admit that the things I wanted him to change aren’t really dealbreakers. Now I’m feeling hurt by what he said and I feel like kicking him out of the house.

Am I right to be hurt?