Is it okay to throw the past at your partner?

Question

My husband constantly throws my past at me. Who I was before I started dating him. When I was 16-19. I dated three different guys during my teenage years & admittedly had sex with each one. These were all relationships.
My husband constantly calls me a whore, hoe, trash, thirsty, etc. for this.
I regretted my past before but he makes me hate myself. He makes me feel disgusted with myself.
I’m 28 and he’s 29. We’ve been together for 8 years.
I’ve always been loyal & have never broken his trust during our 8 years, however, he’s lied, kept secrets, deleted things, overstepped boundaries that we had, therefore has broken my trust many times.
I just don’t feel like I deserve this anymore.
But I also think, is this normal?? Will anyone accept me for my past? Or am I really unwanted & gross? Is this how most people would feel about me?

Answer

No this is not normal. It’s abuse. Emotional abuse!  You deserve a husband who loves and cherishes you no matter what your past is. Your husband isn’t that I’m sorry. You deserve better. You are worth more than the sex you had with your past boyfriends. Hugs from a stranger

Answer

Why did you marry him?

Answer

This is abuse. Your past isn’t about him and shouldn’t even be talked about. You aren’t a whore for sleeping with three people. That’s absurd. And being  whore is made up bullshit.

Answer

Why did you even marry a man like this? Not normal at all

Answer

He doesn’t like you. Leave

Answer

Je has lied to you and overstepped your boundaries and you're still with him? Why???

Answer

Your past is your past and is what makes you who you are: Stronger. 
What he’s doing is called Emotional Abuse. He knows you have insecurities and is holding it over your head to do what he’s doing in y’all marriage and making it seem like it’s your fault. It takes a strong person to face their fear and walk away from an abusive relationship no matter the form it’s coming in. Wish you all the best in your decision.

Answer

This is not normal. 
A real partner would never say such things. Your past isn’t even anything concerning or something to be upset about. 3 relationships with sex involved between 16-19 is VERY normal. 
Sounds like your partner has his own issues that he’s taking out on you. You say he’s done some pretty icky things…why stay? 
You deserve so much better! Walk away from the abuse! Know your worth! 
I had slept with more people than you between 16-20. Not all were relationships. I got with my now husband at 20 and he was 19. He had never had a girlfriend or sex until me. He knows my past and was around for some of it (he was my next door neighbor). He has never thrown my past in my face (well maybe he’s poked fun of one of the guys I dated for too long but we all joke about that…he was awful 🙃). We are both very sex positive. We communicate everything. We have a fantastic sex life (and I do remind him often that he’s the best I’ve been with..truly he is..so our pasts don’t reflect on performance). My partner is also educated on the female body and fully knows that vaginas don’t get loose or anything like that. We’ve been together 11 years now and going strong!

Answer

This is abuse and he is projecting onto you the things he is doing. Leave!!!

Is it okay to throw the past at your partner?

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