Vaginal dryness at 22 ?

Question

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We had a baby boy in 2023. And he’s the only man I’ve been with. But even from the beginning I’ve been experiencing dryness. Sometimes more or less and sometimes on the right day I may not be experiencing it at all. But more than likely I’m dry down there. I also have never really felt pleasure from sex at all. I don’t feel anything bedsides him literally moving in and out of me. I don’t even know what sex really feels like. It definitely has to be something wrong with me at this point. I can tell that sometimes he doesn’t enjoy sex with me. I really just don’t know what to do. About two years ago I did bring this up to my doctor and she literally just ignored everything that I said. But I do feel pleasure from oral sex or anything that has to do with my clit. I just don’t feel anything internally I guess. Has anyone experienced this? Or have any advice?

Answer

First of all, you are NOT broken and. you’re certainly not alone in feeling this way, and what you’re experiencing is more common than people talk about. Less than 30% of women orgasm from just penetration. 
Let’s break this down:
Dryness
Dryness is one of the easiest problems to solve with a water or silicone based personal lubricant from your supermarket, pharmacy, or online shop. Many women go through dry spells for no apparent reason. Your own lubrication can also depend on where you are in your menstrual cycle, with ovulation being the wettest and most slippery time. Other things that often affects it are medicines, stress, dehydration, and birth control hormones.
Another thing that can contribute to dryness is not enough foreplay. It takes a woman a lot longer to get ready for penetration.
Clitoris vs. Vagina
It’s really important to know that the clitoris and the vagina are entirely different when it comes to sexual pleasure:
•	The clitoris is a highly sensitive organ designed specifically for pleasure. It has over 10,000 nerve endings (more than anywhere else in your body or on a man's body) and extends internally like a wishbone around your vaginal canal. Stimulating the clitoris - whether directly or indirectly - is how most women experience the majority of their sexual pleasure and orgasms.
•	The vagina, on the other hand, doesn’t have as many nerve endings. While some women enjoy vaginal penetration, for many, it’s not as intensely pleasurable as clitoral stimulation. The sensitivity in the vagina is mostly centered around the opening up to a third of the length inside. Deeper in your vagina is mostly numb and without much feeling. That’s totally normal.
You mentioned you feel pleasure from oral sex and clitoral stimulation but not from penetration. That’s okay! Many women don’t experience much from penetration alone - it’s just one of many ways to enjoy intimacy. A way to deal with it is to avoid the in/out/up/down motion and to switch more to grinding and rubbing your clitoris on his body when he is fully inside you. Or you can use your or his fingers or a small clitoral vibrator on your clitoris during sex. Positions like you on top or him behind you gives easy access to your clitoris during sex.
Exploring Your Own Pleasure
Getting to know your own body is a huge step in understanding what you like and communicating it to your partner. Here are some tips:
•	Masturbation: Take some time to explore yourself. Focus on what feels good for your clitoris—use your hands, or consider adding a water-based lubricant to make it more comfortable. Try experimenting with different speeds, pressures, and rhythms.
•	Sex Toys: Toys can be a game-changer, especially if you’re looking to add more clitoral stimulation during solo or partnered play. Vibrators designed for external stimulation can be particularly helpful. You can even introduce a small vibrator during sex with your partner to combine clitoral and penetrative sensations.
•	Finding the Right Angle: Certain positions during penetration can press on the clitoral legs (also known as the G-spot - an area inside the vaginal wall that some women find pleasurable). For example, positions like missionary with a pillow under your hips or cowgirl (where you’re on top) might help you feel more.
Discussing This with Your Partner
Open communication with your boyfriend is so important—and it sounds like he might already sense that things aren’t working the way you’d both like. Often just one discussion is also not enough, you have to do it a few times until he understands what you need. Here’s how you could approach it:
1.	Start Positively: Let him know how much you value your connection and that you want to work together to make intimacy even better for both of you.
2.	Explain What Feels Good: Share that you really enjoy clitoral stimulation and would like to incorporate more of it into your sex life. You might say something like, “I feel so much more when you focus on my clit. Maybe we could try more things that include that?”
3.	Be Playful: Introduce the idea of trying new things, like toys, lubes, or different techniques, as a fun and exciting way to explore together.
4.	Check In: After trying something new, ask how he’s feeling and share how you’re feeling. This keeps the conversation open and positive.
Why It’s Worth Addressing
Your feelings of dryness and lack of pleasure could have multiple causes, such as postpartum hormonal changes, stress, or just discovering how your body works best. That’s why working on this together—both through solo exploration and open communication—is so important.
When to Seek Help
Since you’ve already raised this with a doctor and didn’t get the help you needed, consider finding a provider who specializes in sexual health, such as a gynecologist or sex therapist. They can check for any underlying medical issues, such as hormonal imbalances or vaginal atrophy, and provide guidance.
At the end of the day, you deserve a fulfilling and pleasurable intimate life. Take it one step at a time, and remember that there’s no “right” way to feel pleasure—it’s all about discovering what works best for you and sharing that journey with your partner.

Answer

Are you breastfeeding? Maybe that’s why your dry

Answer

You’re not broken. 
Sounds like you’re not aroused or having any foreplay. Women need clitoral stimulation. You also need to be invested mentally. Start there.

Vaginal dryness at 22 ?

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