I have been married to my husband for 5 years, together for 7. We recently moved out of state for his job and I work from home. We were planning to TTC in the next two ish years, 100% not now. To preface this my husband had a problem with alcohol before we got married. It all came to a head one night when an incident occurred that I won’t go into but it almost ended our relationship at that time. We broke up for a few months and he agreed to stop drinking. And he did. So we reconciled (very stupid on my part looking back) He stopped for three years then slowly started again “socially” but never hard liquor. Since we moved his drinking has increased again exponentially. He will come home from the store with three bottles of wine and drink one a night until they are gone. I don’t drink at all for health reasons.

He’s been going to the bar with us coworker three times a week and spending the rest of his time drinking with the neighbor across the street. Last night my issues with all of this came to a head. I had a very long stressful day at work and he was going to bring home food for us and we were going to watch a Christmas movie together. We dont get a lot of quality time together because of our work schedules so I was really excited. 8pm rolls around and he isn’t home. I check life 360 and he’s at the bar with his coworker (who I should mention is also a self admitted alcoholic) for the third time this week. He then goes back to the guys house and drinks more there all without saying a word to me. Not even a text. He eventually gets home in an uber at 11pm and he’s wasted. He left his car at the bar an hour away (which is good he didn’t drive but means I now have to schedule in time to drive him to work). He also didn’t bring home food obviously and I had waited all day to eat with him. I ask him why he couldn’t tell me he was going out and he said I have life 360 and could probably see he was out and he’s not going to tell me when he’s going out or ask permission he’s just going to go. He said “historically” I have never been ok with him going out (strange since he was out three times this week without me saying a word) and he’s now realizing this isn’t the life he wants. He envisioned his life as him working and spending his money on leisure for himself not having to have to “hear bullshit” from someone anytime he wants to drink. He then admits he’s been buying his friend a six pack of beer a night because his friend is in a bad financial position and he’s such a good guy and wants to help him

out? He tried to tell me going out drinking with his “superior” coworker was important so he could stay in good with the company and we can stay living nicely so I should be grateful he’s doing it. He’s never mentioned that to me EVER. The interaction then gets heated when I don’t APOLOGIZE TO HIM for saying something about him going to the bar and he jumps up and tries to pull down the ceiling fan in a rage! When he couldn’t manage that he threw two giants bags of coffee ground across the whole kitchen and then asked me if I’m happy with how pissed off I make him?! He then called me a c**t and told me to shut the f**k up. He THEN again reiterated that being married and a husband was never his dream, it was mine (even though he proposed to me under ZERO PRESSURE) and he just wants to do what he wants when he wants and if I don’t like it, tough.

In order to diffuse the situation I fake apologized and went to bed so he would go to bed as normal. He didn’t, he got an uber back to the bar and slept in his car. This morning I took the day off work and I had my best friend come over and help me pack up all my stuff then hired a truck and I left without a word The straw finally broke the camels back. He is still at work with no idea I’m gone. I’ve been contacting divorce lawyers all day and will be filing in the morning. LADIES! Don’t ever let a man tell you twice he doesn’t want you.