I feel like I can never be myself

I’m not sure if it’s me or if my family is toxic but I’m not allowed to have any interests or hobbies or anything without them saying I’m just trying to change myself for a guy. For example, I don’t smoke weed because it makes me anxious. I haven’t in years and they always offer and I ALWAYS so no thank you, every single time. I’ve recently started seeing this man that also doesn’t smoke weed. Well now they keep asking me if I want to smoke with them and of course I still say no and they say “it’s because of that guy, you’re just trying to be what he wants”. I literally always deny their offer!!! And lately I’ve been craving meat soooo bad. I think my

Body is lacking protein so I’ve been making a lot of steaks and chicken and they say I’m only acting like that to impress him. Like what?? I’ve been working out so much obviously my body is craving meat. And recently me and this man have started watching Yellowstone together and now they’re saying I only watch things that he wants me to watch so that he will

Like me. Like what the fuck?? I literally can’t do anything without being accused of changing for a man. I haven’t even dated anyone in 5 years so it’s not like I have a history of doing that but it’s so frustrating I’m not allowed to do anything without being accused of changing for a man