Considering opening up that door, but very nervous. Advice!

So I haven’t had a relationship with my mother in 3 years. I moved out/got kicked out at 18 and I’ve been on my own for about a year now. Before this, I was couch surfing or living with others and life was hard. I finally have had my own place for 7 months, I have had the same job for a year and 2 months, the longest I’ve kept one. And I’m on time with all my bills minus not having a car, but I’m getting there.

My mother abused me since I was a child up until I was 18, spit on me as a kid, talked about me, treated me terribly, wouldn’t buy me clothes, pads, and would constantly lock me out of the house in freezing temperatures and I’d have to beg to come back in. I was estranged for 2 years up until last year she got in contact with my ex bf’s mom and decided to tell a bunch of lies to his mom, painting a bad picture of me, talking about me, telling about my sexual abuss. I recently heard she’s been telling my dad that she talks to me here and there (untrue) but I think she’s honestly just embarrassed, because it’s embarrassing having to say that your older child doesn’t speak to you. So I understand that in a way.

I told myself I’d never speak to her again and the last time I did, I told her about herself. A year ago. I’ve been considering opening up that door and texting her today asking if I can FaceTime my 4 year old brother. I really miss my siblings, I have my 15 year old sisters number and I do speak to her but barely. Either my mom has her phone or my brother does. It’s rare I get a response. I just want to talk to my siblings and deep down that little girl in me wants her mom, but I don’t want her to start manipulating me again or etc.

Can I get some opinions/advice? Would I be making a mistake?. Advice!