Thinking of 1 more baby but scared…

Hello I am a mother of 3, have had 5 pregnancies over all and some traumatic birth situations, well with my last baby it was very traumatic because I hemorrhaged after her being born and it was just very scary, but I can’t get the thought out of my head that I think I want one more baby… 4 sounds like a lot but I come from a big family as I have 5 siblings… I’ve always wanted 4 kids, but we live in a smaller apartment and both work full time and I’m just scared of pregnancy and birthing another child, also my husband as well is scared since I had the complications with my last which makes him not want another child, I have very severe anxiety as well so I just get in my own head… idk what to do… I’m on birth control right now but was thinking of getting off of it as I’m getting older (I’m 32) and want to have 1 more but no later then 35…. And also want my husband to get a vasectomy after 1 more child lol because that’s the least he can do for me.