Breaking up my family over a lie my husband has been telling me...

My husband and I have been together 16 years. We started dating and I got pregnant with our first child super quick. We married fast. Trigger warning for SA but when I was 17 I was drugged and gang raped by some college boys. They violently raped me and then I found out a couple years later someone posted it online to a porn site and I had to fight with this site to get it taken down. I found out from one of my husband's, friends ex girlfriend that my husband along with that friend were two out of the 7 men that gang raped me. And my husband was the one who posted it online. She showed me screenshots of their group chat talking about it and his friend made a joke saying "I mean if you want a girl just rape her and date her. You got the sex and the girl." And my husband replied hehe. I went ballistic on my husband and he started to cry saying it was a long time ago and he's changed and he left loves me. What I didn't appreciate from the girlfriend is the fact that she made the whole thing public. I really wish she hadn't done that because I didn't have time to process. I already knew I wanted to leave him but her making that public felt like I was being victimized all over again. Our oldest kid also saw it and that messed some things up because even if I left him I was still going to let him see our kids but that's out the window for the two older ones. My 13 year old daughter lost a friend to suicide after her dad raped her and my 15 year old son had issues with a creepy teacher we ended up suing when he was 12. So they want nothing to do with their dad. I know there will be people in here telling me to forgive. That it was a long ago. But please don't bother. I can't get past this. I don't care how long it's been. Marriage is over for me. He lied to me for years. He should have told me so I could make the decision. I would not have been with him.