When I was pregnant with my 2nd, I was promoted at 5 months to a job that I had less than 3 days training. I love what I do and did everything I could to make it work. I just made it to 2 years at this job and I have more than excelled. What people didn't see were the hours at 4am that I spent drafting emails and studying while breastfeeding, taking the baby to work and feeding in my office, pumping consistently 2-3 times at work in between meetings and phone calls. Not only did I lose time and milestones with my daughter, but I lost some of myself trying to keep my job afloat and recover from childbirth and postpartum. My husband injured his back about 2 weeks before I had the baby so he was also out of work for months while he went to Dr visits, to discover that he had a fractured disc in his lower back that required surgery to take out the shards. I was the sole income source while learning a new role and having a baby. This time around I am very secure in what I can offer as an employee and my role, so I am staying firm in my health and needs. With 3 young children (6, 2 and NB) when I have this one I know in my heart that my priority will be the kids. Its so hard for me knowing what I've built and accomplished and that I would give that up, however, I know it will be more like a pause this time rather than starting over. Financially we will be taking an enormous hit. We live in a small rural town with so very few opportunities and my husband is having a hard time finding quality work to support a growing family. We will most likely need to move right as I have the baby since I will need to be employed to have insurance to pay for the cesarean. Sorry for the rant, I just needed to write out my thoughts as the weeks are flying by and it becomes a reality more and more.