Hello you all, I am currently in my bed in the dark.  my boyfriend has schizophrenia, paranoia, when we first met a year and a half ago, I noticed signs that he struggles with mental health. I accepted him as he was because I just did to be honest. We had fights. I was accused of cheating. There was situations like he will go through my phone and see things and turn them into bigger things than what they actually are. For example, I have a business. I have someone who does my logo for me, I told my boyfriend yes I know this person we go out to eat and discussed you know my logo it’s not a date. Me and that person were just friends, when we met, we were meeting on that term no romantic Expectations from one another. We simply were business partners to a degree. When we would discuss logos and propose things of course we will sit down at a restaurant. He said my boyfriend, it was a date. Me and my friend plan to meet up and this is before I met my boyfriend with me and my friend have been planning to meet up for a quite some time, but just haven’t really Had got a set date for that. So when he went through my phone, he saying that me and my friend was trying to make arrangements to go out to talk about my logo well perhaps another logo because I want to create one for Internet purposes social media. He got upset. He blew that out of proportion and that was a year and a half ago Today he still brings it up. He said he was hearing things out of the walls. He’s hearing his family voices he’s being monitored any and everything he do. He indicated for example, if he was going to go take a shower he hear people you know monitoring him his every move. Oh, he’s going to take a shower. I’ve dealt with that for over six months and it just really hurts because I don’t know what to do I don’t know why I still love him. I don’t know why I still want him here with me and to top it off and make things worse. I am pregnant. He is under the impression now that I am the enemy, that I am not pregnant, and if I am, that is not his baby, With all the proof, the test results and everything he still is in denial he says he wants to see a baby and wants a DNA test which I’m not denying him this last big fight. He stormed out and said some horrific things to me really hurt me. You know he did mention when he leaves something just terribly gonna happen. All of a sudden the baby is gonna die and that was just some bullshit stuff. Couple days ago perhaps he’s in his episode and asked me to agree to some ridiculous contract. he’s written, I declined and he just was OK. Well, I’m going to stay here for the baby and I’ll be with you. Is what he said. I’ll help you out and be here for the baby and I didn’t appreciate that because that’s not what I want so I indicated that’s not gonna work out because you can’t live with me and not be with me like I’m sorry That didn’t go well. I’m sorry that I’m seeming to be scatterbrained. You guys are probably reading this trying to figure out, but I really hope this is consolidated as best because I am a bit speechless. And I just can’t stop crying. He sent me a message on Instagram after I called him to only realize I was blocked. He picked up the phone hung up then he sent me a message while we actually talked on the phone and he just you know don’t call me anymore. Don’t contact me anymore. The whole shebang. Message me on Instagram to tell me he just don’t trust me And a bunch of things. I struggled within this relationship with him and his ecstasy and addiction. He says he don’t have an addiction but if you’re taking them to get away and you’re taking them. You know it’s not like it’s something you do maybe like once a month if you travel out or go to EDM you knowbut this is something you take on the regular you take these on the regular. Thanks for listening or reading my little rant. I’m probably gonna post again lol love you all. We got this.