Pumping and Dumping

Long story short I had twins on 3/4. Both babies latched and were feeding well within the first hour, and for the next 12ish hours.

THEN I had some major complications. Ended up in emergency surgery. Almost died. Babies were on donor milk in the hospital while I was unconscious. One was projectile vomiting with bad reflux and a possible gut issue, so she’s on sensitive formula until we get her sorted out. (She’s going to a gastroenterologist literally today) Other baby is a big time sleeper and we have to wake her up to eat and bottle feed so she doesn’t exert too much effort and lose more weight.

The pain meds from the almost dying complication gave me a stomach ulcer that I likely need surgery for. The meds I’m on for that are also used for abortions and transfer to breastmilk. So now both babies are on formula until the meds are done and the ulcer is healed. It’s looking like 2 more weeks minimum. Surgery wouldn’t be until mid July if that’s the route I go.

I can’t use the milk for anything because the babies can’t be around the abortion meds at all. So no baths, no nothing. pumping and dumping.

I have a lactation consultant who has been involved in the situation advising.

And I’m pumping strictly to protect my supply. It’s just fucking exhausting. Especially to watch it literally go down the drain. I pump 4 times a day. I get 5oz on each side each time. That’s 40oz down the drain. Everyday.

Anyone else pump for supply protection? What’s the least I can do it, not get mastitis and still be able to go back to nursing in a few weeks? I feel like all I do is feed, wash, pump, wash, change, clean, repeat.

These are my 3rd and 4th babies. I’m not stressing over the situation, because honestly, no one on earth doesn’t believe a fed baby is better than a starving baby lol but I’m cheap and can’t wait to nurse and not have to wash the bottles but the food and plan to bring shit other than my boobs. Also it’s messy, the spit up, and the pooping and the outfits and the burp cloths. I hate formula feeding. I truthfully don’t know why anyone would choose this if it wasn’t medically necessary. It’s the worst.