Ignorince is bliss

I wish I didn't test early because then I would not be feeling this way. Because had I just waited for my missed period maybe I wouldn't have known. I know it makes me sound horrible. But now I'm dealing with the thoughts of what if I didn't go for that run or what if I didn't drink that tea. What if I was excited about baby no.3 and not nervous about it. What if I wasn't tracking the line progression? What if I didn't test early? I don't know double edged sword i guess. I know the line was faint. It was there I had blood work done the same day it was positive. It's my favorite what if I guess.