can sex feel good even after using a rose toy

my boyfriend and i are 19. we’ve been dating since we were 15 and we’ve been sexually active since we were 16. we’re currently long distance and have been for abt 6 months. we’ve only got one month left to go but here’s the problem. he thinks that masturbating is good as long as you don’t use any sort of toys… but for whatever reason i can NOT get off any way other than using my rose toy. it’s all that i’ve used this whole time… and he doesn’t know. he’d be so angry. he think i’ve only used my hands but i absolutely can not get off that way i’ve tried so hard. so anyways im really worried about when he comes home if ive ruined myself and he’s not going to be able to get me off. because he said that’s his fear with me ever using a toy is that he thinks it’ll make him not feel good to me anymore. has anyone experienced this ?? does sex still feel good even if you’ve used a toy ??