In The Process Of Planning To Leave

I've been with my husband for quite some time. Before I married him, he was pretty easy going, kind, made me laugh and smile. Shortly after we got married, we (planned) a pregnancy. I conceived quicker than I expected. Red flags: He started being negligent with any pets we may have. He went from job to job. Wasn't paying bills nor spending money responsibly. He talked me into being a stay at home mom. I always wanted to but was scared in fear of the potential risks that I could face. Fast forward a few years, had 3 more children. My recent pregnancy, I went into labor early. I believe it was because he had started being more of a jerk to me and admitted he had been flirting with a female coworker. He said she didn't flirt with him but the records show 200-300 texts within 2 weeks that were exchanged altogether. I confronted them both. She said they were just work friends and that she had a gf. I believe she was flirting. However, my husband deleted the messages. She blocked him and me. So much for being friends, when the wife was kept in the dark. We all know you introduce your friends, work friends to your partner. He later admitted he knew what he was doing was wrong, that he's been insecure. It was his way of escaping his problems that he, to this day, doesn't work on. He just says he's trying. Ever since then, he has been more verbally/emotionally abusive. I constantly feel like his temper is in overdrive. He accuses me of trying to start an argument over topics or questions that are so simple. He's been overeating, rapidly gaining weight. I told him he's depressed and has an anger problem. He is mainly disengaged with the children and I when he's at home. He uses weaponized incompetence a lot. So now, I've started stashing cash, and been applying to jobs since recovering from my tubal removal. I'm also looking to have someone help me practice driving bc he tends to belittle me. I found another mom in the area who wants to help me for free. He won't make it feasible to be able to pay someone or a place to teach me. I'll likely tell him, I'm just hanging out with a mom friend or going for a walk. My anxiety has been keeping me from doing so previously. I look back to my former recent jobs, he encouraged me to quit. I just get a sense him seeing me interacting with my coworkers, and them approaching me, communicating with me, makes him feel some type of way. I look back and remember, thinking it was odd how he claimed he wasn't a jealous person. However, I personally think he must've been all along and it's surfacing finally. I started therapy and see a psychiatrist in July. The wait is long I know. I've applied to over 100 jobs in the past 2 to 3 months. Nothing yet. He has referred to therapy as stupid and claims he doesn't need it. So, I can't "make him" get himself help. I just feel like he's a loose canon and it's only a matter of time before he gets physical with me. So, here's to preparing, taking the kids, when I can and leaving. Just seems like and has been trying to control/manipulate me. I have no family. My dad is dead. And my mom's side of the family are a bunch of narcissists and or enablers. Has anyone ever been through something similar? How much did you save? What did you do? Would love to hear your story. No negative comments. Thank you.