My mom and aunt always give my daughter whatever she wants to get her to stop crying. I've already told them several times to please stop. Today, she was misbehaving and I laid out the ground rules and expectations only for them to contradict it all

My daughter is 2.5 and for the most part very well behaved because we have clear expectations and boundaries. No means no. No does NOT mean let's compromise or if you whine/throw a tantrum we'll do it your way.

Today she wanted to wear her new dress for Easter dinner. My husband and I told her we're changing into your dinner clothes and right after dinner, you can wear your dress again. Cue giant meltdown. My mom and aunt swept in and told her she could have chocolate and wear her dress if she wanted. Instantly stops crying. I said no, that's not how this works.

I said she knew before we came that she was wearing different clothes for dinner. She picked them out and knew before dinner that she needed to get changed. My mom and aunt said it's no big deal, if she ruins her dress she ruins her dress. It's only clothing. I said "It is so not about the dress. It's about setting expectations and sticking to them." They say I'm being too strict and inflexible. I told them no, I'm setting boundaries. I told her no dress at dinner. She picked out clothes to wear to dinner. This is reasonable.

Then they said "Oh what if we get bibs and clothes she can wear over top of her dress?" I said the expectation is that she puts on her dinner clothes and after dinner, she puts her dress on again.

This became this whole thing about how my husband and I have high expectations of a 2.5 year old. I said well did you ever think this is why she's so well behaved? Did you ever think that because we set firm boundaries EARLY and taught her "No means no" that she accepts it usually without a fuss? She still whines to test the boundaries but she stops pushing it once she sees it's getting nowhere.

I told them that they need to just let me parent my child but they step in and say I'm being "too strict" and "heavy handed". I told them they need to respect my parenting style. Its not like I'm yelling at my child. I'm reiterating boundaries.

At this point I don't know what to tell them and how. I just feel like everything I do is wrong and they are stepping in all the time.

@G are you for real? If you must know, my daughter is a very messy eater and gets upset when her dresses get messed up. We learned the hard way at Christmas that just letting her wear the dress (so in your words, being a GOOD parent and compromising and NOT bullying) ends in a toddler who is devastated that her dress is dirty. Her meltdown lasted almost 30 minutes. Then when the stains didn't come out, she had an even BIGGER meltdown and cried every day for over a week. So no, I'm not putting her through that again, thank you.