Step kids? Or just my kid?

Question

What are your thoughts on if you are married to someone and you have children outside of the marriage, should your spouse introduce them as his/her step kids vs. they are all your

children? What are your thoughts on the grandparents introducing them as step grandchildren vs the “real” grandchildren?

Answer

It’s like my step son IS my son, but I always say step son out of respect for his mother, I also don’t want to make him feel weird about it. He’s only 4, so he’s very matter of fact. When I started dating his father he was around 5 months old. When he started talking he kept calling me momma, I would say my name a couple of times & eventually he knew the difference! He’s called me by my name ever since (:

Answer

As someone who had step mom who was the bestest step mom I could ask for she always said I was her daughter and that made me happy she would only say step daughter when they question it

Answer

This will be completely unique for each family so i didn't want to vote one way or the other.. it completely depends on what feels best and natural for everyone involved.. his parents might feel it's presumtious of them if they called your kids their grandkids.. or they just grew up with more strict guidelines on clarifying "step" relations.. could be loads of reasons but most likely they are not ill intended in any way towards you and your children.. you might want him to say they are all just "his children" but he might think he wouldn't  like any other man ever calling his bio daughter "his daughter" if the shoe was on the other foot. He might also think it's like hiding part of the truth from the kids that they might resent later in life.. or if they are older already he might not want to be seen as pushing bio dad out of picture.. if you talk to him about it and tell him your view you can come to an understanding together, but be prepared for him not to be comfortable switching, he shouldn't be asked to make a switch that he wouldn't feel natural to call himself. However if you and your children all feel the.same, you could let him know you'd be okay and happy with that and maybe a year from now he will all of a sudden make switch himself..

Answer

There are LOTS  of things this is dependent on …..but mostly it’s a what the step parent and child are okay with 
My step dad introduces me as his daughter and I introduce him as Dad 
My daddy’s ex wife she never liked me and I knew it she never even said step daughter I was “my husband’s other child” or “oh her no not my child”

Step kids? Or just my kid?

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