Why does my grandma do this?

Question

My grandma is 89. I understand at her age I need to have a lot of patience, which I feel I do. But now that I’m pregnant my patience is running superrr short. 
She doesn’t know I’m pregnant yet, and she constantly asks me if I use birth control (she’s VERY against it) and I’ve told her no I don’t. She asks me every so often cause she knows I’ve experienced a miscarriage and she’s even referenced me having an abortion which I DIDNT and which she’s also against. She asks me these things once a week, and I hate that she thinks I would even be capable of doing those things and she thinks I did something to cause my miscarriage and she told me those things don’t happen on their own. 🫩 it’s exhausting having to explain myself over and over again over something so delicate to me.

Answer

I agree with Nadia. Older generations usually (and unfortunately) believe things like this. These beliefs are all they know. I talked to a therapist about this and she basically told me there's no point in explaining anything or wasting your energy on being mad at them. Older people (especially if they’re stubborn or believe they’re always right) rarely change (not saying it never happens, just rarely) because they’ve believed the things they do and have been the way they are for many years. You just have to ignore and move on or you'll drive yourself crazy letting the things people say affect you.

Answer

I think it’s just an old people thing. My bf’s grandma is in her 90s and talks shit about people that have children outside of marriage right in front of me knowing I had my kid at 17. Your grandma has thought like this for 89 years now, unfortunately nothing is going to change the way she thinks. I’d give her one last stern “This conversation is hurtful to me and I’m not going to talk about it anymore” and then try your best to ignore her and not engage when it’s brought up

Answer

My grandmother is 96. Anytime she asks inappropriate questions, I ignore her and act like I didn’t hear. If she keeps pestering and gets aggressive about it (currently has dementia), I’ll inform her that I heard her question, but I will be refraining from answering it. She gets irritated, but we eventually move on.

Answer

Likely memory issues if I had to guess. I’m a caregiver for seniors and I see my client every day - he asks me the same exact questions; Are you married? Why aren’t you married? Why do you live together if you’re not married? Does he know you’re taking care of a man? And so on lol. 
It’s not “coddling” because of where they came from, how they were raised, etc. it’s being aware of why they are that way. Especially when memory issues start developing - their core memories and beliefs come out stronger than ever. There’s no “teaching them new things” when memory issues start because sure they’ll “learn” that day or that hour and then forget the next day or in a few hours. 
Pregnancy hormones are no joke and patience can be hard even without pregnancy hormones raging through your body lol. I repeat to myself “they’re not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time” and sometimes ya just gotta walk away, breathe and regroup.

Answer

Maybe she forgets that she asked you these questions only a week ago.

Answer

Older generations were raised by their parents to believe these things are sins and will send you to Hell. They also use their age as an excuse to get away with talking shit about everyone and not caring who they hurt. Tell Grandma that it is none of her business whether you are using birth control or not and that the conversatoon is officially closed and any further mention of it will result in her being cut off. She knows that bringing these subjects up is hurtful to you and she does it anyway. 89 years old or not, that does not give her the right to hurt you every week.

Answer

When I was pregnant with my first kid my dad would always ask me questions about me being active  or just say things like if I were to ever get pregnant what he think I should do with it and I came to the realization that my dad knew I was pregnant he just wanted me to admit it.

Answer

Id just tell the old hag its none of her business

Why does my grandma do this?

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