The first ultrasound showed that I was six weeks along but we could only see the gestational sac.

She seemed worried so she sent me the next day to get another blood test to test my HCG levels and we set up another ultrasound 6 days later. My HCG levels were 18,500 the first time and had only increased to 19,800 in two days. 

At the next ultrasound I only measured at 6 weeks and 3 days and we could still only see the gestational sac. No yolk sac and no fetal pole. The 6 days leading up to this one I have had constant red spotting. Both tests they preformed an abdominal and a tranvaginal ultrasound. 

When she called with the results she told me it wasn't a viable pregnancy. Immediately tears started falling. 

She will be calling soon with my options. I would like for my body to miscarry naturally. I feel ok one moment and the next I can't hold back the tears. We had already purchased a crib, changing table, stroller, high chair and pack n play. My husband and I were so excited. 

My fears are coming true. I felt like something was off this whole time. I never truly felt pregnant. In the very beginning I had major bloating, some fatigue, constipation and only a few days of tender breasts. Never felt nauseous... I never had cravings... I couldn't wait for the ultrasound to prove to me I was pregnant. It did.... But not a healthy one. Now I am waiting to pass this child on and heal so we can start again. 

Luckily I have the most supportive husband ever. I couldn't imagine having the strength to go through this without him. 

I just want it to be over. I've never been so excited for something and then so heartbroken. 

The good things are: We both want children and we both can. 

Prayers to all of you women suffering from loss. You are not alone.