Long post warning but please help! I am absolutely in love with my boyfriend but I have always had attractions towards women (mostly physical appearances rarely sexual) and he notices me checking out girls sometimes. My first kiss was with a girl when I was around 10 and we would pretend that she was the guy and stuff like that. I had another kiss with my best friend in middle school, she came out recently as lesbian but we drifted apart in hs. Anyways I've always pushed that part from myself and it has caused me so much anxiety and depression. So my issue is that I have told my boyfriend about these experiences when I was younger, he has seen my google history pop up of sexuality tests (don't do them lol) when he used my web browser and that's what started it all. I denied it three times because that's what I've trained myself to do. I finally said to him yes I am attracted to women but not really sexually. He being fucking amazing encouraged me to accept those feelings and explore them with him. We fantasize together about threesomes but were both highly jealous people so it won't work just yet. But the issue here is about trust. I have just gone down a path of lies with him and I'm not sure how to tell him everything. I lie about stupid little things that have nothing to do with girls but like saying I was sleeping but I really was watching tv. Idk what to do.