Am I a horrible friend?

Question

So my best friend has just told me that she and her partner of 8yrs are trying for a baby. Sadly she lost a little girl at only 3 days old with her ex about 9 yrs ago so it's taken her some time to decided to start a family with her new partner. They recently got engaged and I couldn't be happier for her. My problem is that I have been TTC for a few months now and I am worried that if she falls pregnant before me I will resent her and avoid seeing her. I want to be supportive and be with her during any major event in her life but I can not help feeling I might get jealous if she is more fertile than me. Is it a horrible thing to want to at least fall pregnant together?

Answer

That's a maturity issue for you, it's ok to be jealous it's not ok to treat her bad because God less her first if it happens.

Answer

It's natural to feel jealous but not ok to change how you treat her. I am going through the same thing and just found out my best friend is pregnant. We had a conversation about it and we both feel better about it

Answer

I think you should tell her you're afraid of feeling this way, but you want to be happy for her, and you hope she'll be happy for you if you get pregnant before her. My friend and I were finally synced up cycle wise and she got pregnant the FIRST MONTH we were TTC at the same time! But I know it'll happen for me when it's supposed to, and until then she still shares her pregnancy updates and info with me. I can celebrate her while still TTC. I'm the first person who knew she was pregnant, since our cycles were synced and she wasn't bitching like usual about AF. Lol! But for real, I couldn't be more happy for her, since I know her struggles as well. I just make her promise I get baby snuggles when I need them! Lol!!

Answer

I think you'll be happy for her if that does happen. I've been TTC for almost 4 years and my best friend recently had a baby after getting pregnant accidentally and considering a second abortion. I was upset when she told me she was pregnant obviously because I wanted it so bad, but after the initial shock I was so happy for her and stuck by her the whole way. 2 months before her daughter turned 1 I found out I am pregnant too. It will all work out but stay positive!

Answer

Well someone's going to find out first either way. And she might resent you because she lost her baby (if you get pregnant first). About a month after i miscarried I found out my best friend was pregnant and even though i was happy for her I cried for two days. It's not because I didn't love her or wasn't happy for her , it's because i just wanted it so bad. I ended up finding out I was pregnant a week later. It's only natural to be upset.

Answer

It's normal to feel jealousy and you aren't a horrible person for feeling the way you do. However, if you really love and care for your friend you shouldn't resent her if she falls pregnant before you. She lost a baby which is a terrible loss so if anything you should be ecstatic if she falls pregnant before you because when you truly care for someone you want the best for them. If she does and you can't be around her then unfortunately that will say a lot about you as a person.

Answer

You need to be open with her. I am currently going through this. She wasn't my best friend but we got really close while we were both ttc and I am almost due, she still hasn't conceived and she wont talk to me very much now. It's not my fault and its a horrible feeling to be on this end. I try being supportive of her and she was supportive of me at first but not now. Just be honest always and communicate with her

Am I a horrible friend?

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