So I got the worst of worst. My baby girl has Turner's, large cystic hyrgroma, and early evidence of hydrops. They keep telling me she will pass soon. I went in for my 12 week appointment and her heart is still beating. Doctor still tells me she has no chance but they have no idea when she will pass. I asked if I had another option, because I mentally cannot handle carrying a baby until 30 weeks or even full term (which in some cases happens) only to have it pass away. The doctor said he morally doesn't agree.

I thought that was what I wanted. But now I feel because I had that thought, will God not bless me with a healthy child during our next pregnancy? I have not terminated, and am currently searching for other doctors who can provide me with more information than "your baby is going to die"

I just feel this sense of guilt, like because I want nature to take its course. If the baby is going to pass, I wish it would just pass. Why is there a continuous suffering for myself and my husband?

Am I alone where when the doctor said you will most likely miscarry, and you just wish it would happen?

I feel like an awful person.