Baby shower 😪

Is it so wrong for me to not want a baby shower? My mom is making me feel bad because she already bought decor for it when I've already told her that I don't want one. My boyfriends mother also wants to throw one for me. No one understand that it's for ME and MY baby not theirs so I'm the one who has to actually be there. I'm grateful don't get me wrong but I don't like parties let alone talking to people. I'm very anti social and have anxiety and I'm not comfortable with my pregnancy like I was before I got pregnant. Am I wrong for not wanting one? I just don't want them holding this against me 😪