Induction- scared and disappointed??

So I'm 40 weeks 6 days today, will have another doctor appointment tomorrow and she already said yesterday at my last appointment that if I don't have him by Friday, I am getting induced this weekend because my son is already more on the chunkier side (although I know ultrasounds can be way off from what they really weigh/how long they really are.. He was measuring in at 21 inches and 9 pounds on February 14) I'm a FTM and was hoping and aiming for a completely unmedicated labor and delivery.. So an induction is FAR from what I had hoped and prepared for all pregnancy long.. I am not scared of labor. Or better said, natural labor. But I've heard horror stories about inductions and how contractions are a lot more painful when being induced because they go from 0 to 100 very quickly instead of steadily increasing when you start having them naturally.. I was so excited to meet my little boy all through this pregnancy and I wanted my completely unmedicated labor and delivery. And now I'm disappointed because my body isn't doing what it's supposed to. I've cried my eyes out multiple times since yesterday.. I'm just so overwhelmed. I obviously can't wait to meet my son finally but the induction scares the shit out of me. I've been walking so much these past weeks and I have not progressed since 38+5. I'm still only 1-2 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Don't have contractions that I feel but my doctor and midwife assured me I'm having some mild ones but still not enough to go into labor. I'm disappointed in myself because induction wasn't what I was aiming for and I feel like my body doesn't know what to do. And I'm scared of the induction contractions or a possible c section because I've heard that the risks of needing one after getting induced are a lot higher.