All I want to do is cry.
My daughter is 7 weeks old and cluster feeds from 4pm-10pm and from 6am to 12pm. She eats in the night for 2 hours too. Thankfully I get a little sleep but lately she will only sleep next to me I me or in my arms. She didn't latch without a nipple shield and I wonder how much she's actually getting from me. She will always take a bottle no matter how long she eats off me. I pump when I can but its not that often. I cry all the time and I'm not a crying person. Im sick of crying. I'm sick of trying to breastfeed. I'm sick of her always crying. I'm sick of pumping. I'm sick of her cluster feeding for hours on end. I'm sick of not having 5 minute to take a shit or a shower. I'm sick of not having time to eat or make myself a decent meal. I'm sick of not feeling good enough. I'm sick of reaching out fo help from lactation specialists, doctors, family, and friends and not getting any help or support. All they say is it will get better. Well it's not and I dont have faith that it will. I don't want to go to formula because I feel like that's failing myself and my daughter. I don't feel like our attempt at breast feeding is normal. She's gaining weight and has plenty of poopy and wet diapers so nobody but me sees a problem or can help. I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want to crawl into bed and cry for ever.
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