My SO and I have the same fight every year and I was wondering how every one else does it. When my daughter's b day comes around we always throw her a bday party. Normally it is at a skating rink, bowling, or something of that nature. We live in an apartment and have a very large extended family so there is no ton to have one at the house. That is why we go out. My daughter is becoming a preteen so the parties are becoming more expensive and she is wanting to invite her friends. When we do these parties we always pay for everyone. I never want my daughter's aunt's, uncle's, or grandparents not to be there because of money. Here is where the argument is..... When his side of the extended family has a birthday party, we always have to pay for ourselves. For instance.... Today is my nieces party. We are going to the museum and then dinner. If we want to come we are responsible for entry fee, parking, and Imax for the movie of my nieces choice. Plus dinner. My thought is this.... For 1 I don't want the important people missing out on my child's birthday over money. #2 I feel it is very rude to invite some one out for something like that and say "oh... By the way, not only do you need to buy my child something but you have to pay to give it to them". His argument back is "why is it ok for them to do and not us?" so I guess my question is... When you have a birthday party for your kids do you make everyone pay their way or just cover it and everyone come and have a good time without the stress of money hanging over their heads?