I need some encouragement and support right now...

This lady had been messaging me for about a month about buying my blue and gold macaw. I had been holding my macaw for her for a couple weeks. She had been talking about buying a new cage and toys and stuff. But I didn't really think she was gonna buy her. She had never owned a big parrot before..only tiny sun conures. And I was nervous about selling her to an unexperianced person. Well she came and bought her...my bird looked so scared!! And when I put her in their car I started crying and they left. I had been crying ever since. She messaged me a pic of her in her new cage and messaged me again to ask me what to do when she doesn't want to go in her cage. And I told her what to do and she finally got her in. And I'm just a wreck!!! I've been crying non stop all day and I think I have a fever. My eyes are really swollen and I have a headache. My husband said I look Chinese cause my eyes are so swollen and squinty. But I just feel so sad. I didn't want to sell my baby in the first place. It was more of all my family and friends telling me I need to get rid of her...cause she chews everything on the floor.she could bite the baby. She could poke the baby's eyes out . and she will scream when the baby cries. I already know that my bird doesn't like babies because she tries to attack this two year old that comes over all the time. And I know this is gonna sound really really bad....but I'm kinda blaming my baby girl for having to get rid of my baby bord:'( I know I'm wrong for saying or even thinking that. I havnt said it out loud I've just been thinking that. That's how I'm feeling and I'm just really depressed. I got so attached to my bird. That bird was literally like my child. I have been with this bird all day long and all night for the past two years. This bird even slept with me at night. And I don't know how to stop crying and feeling this way. I know its for the best but.I really miss my bird. That bird would eat everything I ate....drink everything I drank...that bird was there for me all day long while my husband worked all day....she stayed with me and watched TV....and I just want to die right now. ( not literally)