Divorced woman

So I'm not going into full detail but I've asked my husband for a divorce he's a great guy he just wasn't a great husband. After so many years I've finally came to the realization that he was controlling and put me down for so many years and even allowed his family to put me down. We've been together since we were 14 had kids young (16) and eventually got married and had more kids (3) we've been together 13 years and married 7 yrs. I've been a SAHM since 2012. I let him finish college and get his career while I put my things on hold. I realized that I'm no longer in love with him. Even though I want the divorce I'm really scared of taking the next step and keep having conflicting thoughts of the divorce. Im not sure if it's because im afraid of being on my own for the first time or if I'm making the wrong choice because he's all I've ever known. My husband doesn't want the divorce and has apologized many times for hurting me all these years but I don't want to stay just because I'm comfortable and not happy. So what I'm asking is are these symptoms normal before the divorce? Is it ok to hurt?