Is it over from here ?

Question

Recently I took a genetic test around 10 weeks and found out I tested high risk for trisomy 18 . Im Tuesday I went for an amino , During the amino they told me the baby looked good expect they couldn't see his hands because they were closed so they couldn't tell if they were clenched or not . A few days ago I got my fish test results back .. And it came back the baby does have trisomy 18. I'm 17 weeks and 2 days pregnant today so they want to see how severe things are right now . I don't want to terminate the pregnancy when I'm this far along because of the way the process is . But I also don't want my baby to suffer . It kills me knowing there's a chance I'll never get to hold or even see my first child . Is there any hope that he would make it and that the defects aren't that serious . (For expample if it's just his hands  ) . I know doctors really push on abortion but I'm 19 and I never believe in abortions ever . Expecially this far along in pregnancy . Has this happened to anyone or know someone this happened to and the defects weren't severe . Everytime I gain hope it's like the doctors crush it .. 😩

Answer

I had a positive FFDNA test for trisomy 18, and a cvs that revealed a mosaicism in my placenta. Although my amnio was ultimately normal, I had done a fair amount of research by that point. Amnio is as close to a diagnostic test as is possible before birth. It is absolutely your choice how you deal with the results, but I would encourage you to look at the Trisomy 18 foundation website. They discuss the possible range of defects. I also hope you have a doctor you trust to help you. Finally, while abortion is absolutely your decision to make, if you find yourself needed more info, I found the website ending a wanted pregnancy to have a lot of helpful info and stories from real families.

Answer

Part 2 of my comment:

....... It was also the little girl that she always wanted and her existing Child was a boy. The hardest part she said, was that all her Friends and Family obviously already knew about the Pregnancy at that point, so there was no keeping it a secret. Other than the Family members and a few close friends, she simply told everyone else that she lost the baby. No explaination went further than that. Her heart was still breaking, and she did not think she couldn't handle any judgement or condemnation about her choice at that point. Since then (5 years ago), pretty much everyone knows the truth, as she finally told it. No one blamed her for EITHER call. I don't know if this helps, you're the only one who can decide, and you're the only one who will live with it. But maybe hearing from the other side of the coin will help make it easier. I am thinking if you and again... I am so so SO sorry babe. 💔💔💔

Answer

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately T18 and T13 are pretty much as bad as it gets. I am at an increased risk for T21 and go for my anomaly scan tomorrow and I'm such a wreck I cannot even BEGIN to imagine how you feel right now. Especially being a First Time Mom (I am as well). Nobody will ever doubt how much you loved and wanted that baby, if you should make that impossible decision. I have a friend who's 2nd pregnancy was confirmed T13. She didn't find out until she was 22 weeks, after her anomaly scan, because most of the time early genetic screenings only look for T21 and T18. She was absolutely devastated. The baby only had one formed leg, facial defects, heart problems, etc. She made the impossible choice, and terminated the Pregnancy at 24 weeks gestation.... which is considered viability for a healthy fetus. The way she explained it to me is that she felt it was MORE selfish to continue the Pregnancy, and she'd rather the baby be taken from her while it still only knew the peaceful, warm comfort of her womb. That the baby would never experience any amount of suffering. She wanted to hold her baby. Love her baby. See her baby at least once. More than anything in the world. But she felt like that was the selfish choice and that the desicion she made was more mercifull. She simply could not birth her Child, only to watch it pass away, miserably.

Answer

I have not had that test?!?!?

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We are in the same boat. My baby has been "tagged "'for t21 & t18 with the baby not growing and a possible heart defect. I am so lost. And searching for the right choices.

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I'm so sorry for your news. If I can answer any questions for you I would be happy to try. 💙💙

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