I was cleaning my car and without thinking dropped my ring that my SO gave me into the trashcan at the gas station.

No matter how much I dug, I couldn't find it. My SO has a terminal illness and we can't afford another ring and even if we could I wouldn't want it because it not that ring.

...the way he gave it to me was so sweet and unexpected..i can't stop crying.. he's so sick and that ring ment everything to me. I hate myself and this ache in my heart I'm feeling. I'm so angry with myself.