Boyfriend lied.. (long)

I will preface this with how I feel about porn. I dont think its a bad thing. I undestand the urge for it. Its natural yes, however when your significant other starts telling you no and denying you when you've been asking for sex then there's an issue. Why would you put your energy into watching porn when you have someone that's willing to have sex with you? All you have to do is ask. Its not that hard. And on top of it why use porn when you have videos of you and your significant other together.

Couple weks ago I had asked my boyfriend if he had been watchimg porn at all. I asked because he's notorious for turning me down for sex and I've been trying to pinpoint why. Because the first six months of our relationship was great and now I always get told no.

So last night my boyfriend and I were cuddling and just laying down in bed. It was still early in the evening but he ended up falling asleep. So I got up made me a snack and sat down to watch tv in the living room. We have a chrome cast on our tv to screen mirror our phones on the tv. Well his phone was connected already. So not thinking anything about it since I have the password to his phone. I unlocked it and disconnected it and call it what you want womens intuitions but I had a really strong gut feeling that he was lying to me about something. So I simply went to check his browser history. Hoping I wouldnt find anything. And sure enough third thing down was step mom cum swapping with step son. My heart broke when I saw that. So I scrolled down more and it just kept going and going.... every bit of porn was older woman/step mom suducing her step son. Like what the hell. At that point I'm thinking what the hell do I do now? Do I wake him up and confront him? Wait till he wakes up? Well me being me i went into the bedromm with his phone in my hand and woke him up. I said you lied to me. He asked about what. I told him I found all of it. All the porn. And that he had been lying to me about it. He said its probably the same one from last time you found porn.(I went to use his phone and then close out of the internet and there was a site pulled up. He said it was from months ago and that he hadn't been doing it. I believed him. Well I told him I did.) I said no its all recent so dont try to bullshit me I have the proof. Anyway we got into a fight and he was trying to take the phone from me. Which I know he wanted to erase it. He got it and the fivhtin ensued. And he immediately wanted to turn it around on me and how I went through his phone without hos consent. (We had the same policy since we got together a year ago. We both have the passwords to each other phones and if neither of us has anything to hide it shouldnt be a problem for us to look through each other phones. Mind you he's asked to see my phone to "look something up" but then went through my messages. But I have nothing to hide and he's never found anything. I have nothing to worry about. This was my first time ever going through his phone and he lost it on me.) Which I called him out o cause he's gone through mine numerous times "without my consent". So as the argument continues he starts getting mean and calling me a dumb ass and stuff like that for being upset over this. And that made me mad. Don't call me names and be mean to me because you got caught. I told him that it really made me want to smack him for saying that. So he got all cocky and told me to so I did. And he raised up to me and said you're so lucky you're a female. And honestly I wouldnt even say I'm that upset about the porn. Its the fact that he lied to me about, still tried to deny it when I confronted him. And the fact that I'm always asking for sex and I always get told no. Plus he has videos of us so I don't get why he can't use those instead of this older women porn. Which brings up another issue in our relationship. He's 22 and I'm 19. All of the porn he watches is older women. It makes me feel like he wants an older girl. And to make all of thos worse he's been doing it while ive been in the house. Its not even like I was out running errands or out with friends. I was litterally sitting in the living room thinking that he just had an upset stomach.

I feel so hurt and betrayed. I don't understand what I did that was so bad or wong that he doesn't want me like that and he prefers porn. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough. And he can't even see how much he's hurt me. Nor does he care really. He just thinks I'm over reacting to it all. I just dont want to be lied to is all. Like just have the decency to be honest with me. Thats all I ask.