Loss of a child.

March 2nd my oldest baby he was 5 passed away very unexpectedly and as of now the reason is unknown. I have another son, he is 3 and I am 17 weeks and 2 days pregnant with baby number 3. I have been struggling through it and have not found many people who have been through what I have been. I feel very lost and alone. I am down 10lbs from my first appt. I am trying as best I can to stay strong but it is not easy at all.

My 3 year old has so much energy which helps. I have an ultra sound appointment on March 23rd and will get to find out the sex of the baby. My little angel boy wanted a baby sister so badly so I am hoping and praying that we hear it's a girl. He also wanted her to be named Zoey so if so that is what we will be naming her.

I have so much to hang on to and so many reasons to keep going but there are times I just want to give up and disappear.

I just don't even know what to do. I feel like I'm suffocating!