Coincidence? God? I dunno? ...

But we tried so hard after my 4 year old son and nothing but BFN every single month. *Quick background* I have a 10 and now 4 year old from a previous abusive marriage that was pure hell and we survived because we left in time... I found out I was pregnant with my now 4 year old 3 weeks after I left my abusive husband and filed for divorce. Being pregnant and alone I found myself falling in love with my best friend (male) and I was very scared I was just acting out of emotion and hormones but reality is I was really falling in love. He was there for me as a friend thru my abusive marriage and even after thru my pregnancy, he came in like the prince charming I always dreamed of and hasn't let me down to this day. About a year after my son was born we decided hey let's have a baby. We were now full blown in love and planning on getting married. He is a WONDERFUL step father and I just wanted to make "our now family" complete with a baby of our own. So that's the background. We began to try when my son was about a year old not really trying hard but hoping it would happen... it didn't 😕 that's when I started getting a bit ansy as I'm 31 and didn't understand why it was taking so long. Fertility began to take over our lives, sex was based on calender dates and pre seed type lubes were on my weekly shopping list. It was so stressful and tiresome. It began to put a strain on the beautiful relationship and friendship we were so blessed to have..... he finally sat me down one day, looked me in the eyes and said "babe... I want a baby together as much as you do...but I don't wanna loose us along the way and I'm very happy with the kids "we" (meaning my 2) have. Let's just relax and enjoy what we do have and if we are blessed to have one together then that will just be an added bonus" it was life changing. I realized how really lost we had gotten TTC. It was not special anymore so I vowed that day to unis uninstall my glow <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">ovulation tracker</a>, thru my pre seed in the garbage and canceled my gigantic monthly order from amazon of opk and hcg tests. I sat back and just was so great full for the family we did have, the love, the friendship, our 2 beautiful children...everything. we had sex because we wanted to not because my alerts went off that I was ovulating..... life was back to being great!... and then it got AMAZING! So this past December I was so wrapped up in the holidays and family that I lost track of my period.... the day after Christmas I just out of the blue thought to myself.. hmm when was my last period? Usually I'm good at remembering and it comes regularly but with the bustle of the holidays I just couldn't remember... I waited a day and then had a brilliant idea to download glow because my info was still logged in there for my cycles so I would be able to check (since I'm pretty regular) when my last one was... so I did...and to my surprise it was due Christmas day. I didn't even get excited I just said u know what it's probably not late just let me give it a few days maybe I was off a day or two... A week later..no period. I went to work and now it started to tease me... could I be pregnant? I just didn't know and didn't wanna get my hopes up so I ran to the dollar store at lunch, grabbed a test and went back to work straight to the bathroom. I took the test and as I looked I saw the faintest and I truly mean faintest of lines. So faint I spent the whole day going to the "bathroom" just to stare at this test and debate what was the outcome. Things just were really getting my hopes up...and I got down on my knees in that bathroom stall (I know gross) but I prayed to God and told him to please please let this be my time. And if it wasn't I didn't want it to drag out I just wanted to know. Yes or no. I left work, first stop drug store and bought another test. When I got home I ran to the bathroom, dropped my draws and peed. There is was, bright as day ➕ I was so ecstatic. How could it be so faint earlier and now so clear? Call it what u want but I say God was answering me. He didn't want me to stress and instead be so happy. Which both of us were. We are now just shy of 16 weeks pregnant with a baby boy! My 3 his 1st... our 1st together. We are so very happy. The point of this post is not to tell you have to believe in God to get pregnant... but only to give hope to those who are going thru that same struggle I went thru. It seems like it will never happen and you feel like something is wrong with you, all u think about 24/7 is having this baby and it just is Bfn after bfn. Just know ladies there is hope.... I just strongly believe it will happen when it's supposed to happen. I wish the best to all of you TTC and everyone expecting in 2016. Lots of baby dust to you all and happy healthy pregnancy to those expecting! -lecii