Am I in the wrong..?

Question

I'm posting anonymously because I'm a fairly active member, and I don't want this to be used to judge me when I make other posts/comments. I'll try to keep this as short as possible.

I'm at war with myself right now. I'm not sure if my feelings are displaced, justified, or just down right petty. We live with my SO's parents at the moment as we were not financially ready for a baby. (My IUD failed). So we moved out of state to live with them while we finish up our last year of college.

From the very beginning I didn't feel comfortable with having a baby shower. I felt I didn't deserve one really since this wasn't planned. And I don't believe anyone is responsible to buy anything for our baby. We moved in with my SO's parents in order to save and purchase everything ourselves without the extra bills that come with being on our own.

His mom insisted I have a shower, because everyone will want to buy things. She helped me make a registry and everything. It was super kind of her! My mom purchased our crib & all that was needed for it.

Christmas came and my SO's parents bought themselves a stroller/car seat combo. It was very awkward to watch because it was for them. For their use. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be upset by this so I talked to my mom. She said it was a little odd that they got it for themselves, especially before we even bought one for ourselves. So my mom bought us a stroller/car seat combo. I told her not to, that we could get it but she insisted that she wanted to do it for her grandbaby.

My SO's other parents (we live with his bio mom & step dad.) bought us a pack n play changer/napper combo. Which was totally unexpected and very much appreciated! So all of the big things were bought & we feel so blessed! Now it's just little things like clothes (my mom & granny went insane crazy with baby clothes and took care of that🙈) baby soap, tub, diapers. Which I chose to cloth diaper after talking to my mom about it and she wanted to get all those for me, soooo that was taken care of too.

At my baby shower we just had a very small one. (Big crowds give me anxiety.) it was just my SO, myself, his parents, & his uncle/aunt. His parents haven't bought anything for their grandbaby. Which confused me since when making the registry with his mom, she said she wanted to buy it all and how excited she was for the baby and can't wait. She is still super excited which I love.

But I feel a little sad knowing that I'm days away from my due date and my SO's parents haven't bought a single thing for their grandbaby. It bothers me a bit more because like I said, they bought themselves a stroller that only they can use. & they also bought their son and wife who just got pregnant (she's maybe 14ishweeks) a crib and a stroller/car seat. I just feel like this is odd. I don't know.

If I'm in the wrong for feeling sad please tell me! I do have bad anxiety and I know I sometimes get too sensitive over things. It just hurts a little. Especially since they want to be at the Hosptial when she's born and to take her out on these little outings and things. Idk.

Answer

Since you are living with them, maybe they are waiting until the baby is born. There are a ton of things you'll need in the first year that you probably didn't register or plan for. They could just be waiting to see what things you'll need once the baby is home. However, if they are giving you a e place to live, that's a huge gift in itself!

Answer

As someone who's not ok with other people driving my child places , I would be irritated that they bought themselves a car seat stroller combo without saying anything to you first. But that's just me. I do think it's weird that she hasn't gotten you anything. My husbands mom hasn't gotten our son anything either and he's due in a few days. I feel the same like it's not that I expect her to buy something for my child but I expected his grandmother to want to give him something.

Answer

You're not wrong at all! That is a strange situation. I would ask her what's going on!

Answer

Do you feel like maybe they bought it for themselves because they didn't want to freak you out? It definitely sounds like an awkward situation. 😥 sending his vibes your way.

Answer

I agree with you and I would totally feel sad and awkward if they bought themselves such an expensive thing and haven't bought anything for you guys especially since they spent a lot of money on their other son's baby. I wouldn't take it personally though since you guys do live with them, I'm sure they are planning on helping out a lot, and they may even have gifts for you after the baby is born. I wouldn't stress about it if I were you. Just be thankful for what you've already received and that your new little family will have a place to live comfortably! Focus on preparing yourself for your new bundle of joy and try not worry or feel weird about the situation!

Answer

In the same post you went from not wanting anyone to buy you anything to being upset that they haven't? That's weird to me.

Answer

This is a hard one. I see them buying themselves the combo as excitement in their part to participate in helping with the baby. As far as what they get their other grand baby it shouldn't be compared, they got a stroller set but maybe they feel like they give you more by having you two stay with them and help save. You would probably need to talk to them but I dont feel like they see the stroller as just for them. It's really for the baby.

Answer

I would feel uncomfortable even living in true household like they're going to be with the baby 24/7 and don't feel the need to get you all a gift? That's fucked up when it was her idea in the first place and helped you with the registry? I'd keep them arm length away from you and your emotions she's messing with your head

Am I in the wrong..?

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