Advice? No rude comments.

Question

I've been with this guy for over a year. We recently ot engaged. We are not trying to concieve, but we aren't preventing it. I don't see him much anyways so I rarely see him on my fertile days. 
He's got a lot going on. His parents are getting divorced, or are thinking about it anyways. His boss is making him work on days we usually hang out. He's leaving for South Carolina in 6 months, and will be gone for 5 months for the Military. I know 6 months is a long timw away, but still stressful!
Plus he has school, so his days are pretty long and tiring.

Anyways, he's an emotional guy, just doesn't show it. When things get tough, he ONLY thinks negative. It's like his brain is wired to put him down.
Also, in the winter he gets irritated more. Because it's cold, wet, groggy, and when it rains he's overall in a bad mood.
Well today I noticed he was being different. The past week or two he's been really upset an depressed. Not so much distant from me, but not as cute and sweet. 
He told me today "I feel like somethings missing. I don't want to try for anything anymore." Then he called me, and we talked for over an hour.
He said "I'm not feeling it anymore. I don't get butterflies anymore. I've been in denial 100%. I don't have the motivation to try and be cute with you. Actually I don't care about anything right now and I don't know if it's because i've been so depressed lately." 
 I noticed i've been putting pressure on him about ttc. So I told him I was sorry for stressing him out and that I understand where he's coming from. I also told him that i'd like to try to make it work because he is stressed over everything and the way he is, he thinks negatively when he's stressed.

After we switched the topic, we just talked about other stuff. His school, the military, stuff like that. And at one poin in the middle of his sentence about the military he said "We're getting married." i let it go.
Then we were talking about why he doesn't want to go to war, then death. And he said "I hope I die having sex with you" (as a joke) and then we continue to talk about old people. And he said "babe when we're like 80 with 10 kids, we'll still be having sex like animals"

After more talking, he had to go to work and at the end he said "I love you sweetie" And I replied "I love you patrick" and he chuckled then said "i love you more baby" and hung up.

I hate to put my whole relationship out there. But i need some input. Does it sound like he wants to be with me? Or should I be afraid of him leaving? 
He says he just needs to see me more. Could that be why?

We're going to talk about when we see eachother either tomorrow or monday. But i'd like some input..

Answer

Definitely not trying to be rude at all so please don't take it that way. but from working in the health care field I think he should see someone about his depression and maybe get started in some meds. It can make a huge difference in his moods. His mood swings don't sound normal and his negative mind set is a concern as well. I think if he saw someone and got some things situated and figured out it would be better for both of you in the long run.

Answer

I agree with the others -- I do counseling for a living and he may benefit from counseling and medication. I think everyone needs counseling personally haha but truely it can make a huge difference :)

Answer

I think you and he would benefit from talkin to someone. Him talkin about the future is a good sign but depression and mental health are two very serious things that shouldn't be taken lightly. I wish you guys the absolute best

Answer

I think his issues actually have nothing to do with you. He sounds depressed... And if it's worse in poor weather, it could be SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I commend you for being so caring and supportive for him... Not everyone can do that. He should talk to someone, and consider medication for a little while. Good luck!

Answer

Coming from someone who has been with someone in the military, active duty, it sounds like he's depressed & scared. It has nothing to do with you. His issues are his own. And if I were you I would think twice about getting married right now. Post pone it. He sounds a little bit immature. But then again, I only know what you said here. I would take it slow, show your support, & be careful. I wish you the best, hun. I know it's hard being a military SO

Answer

It seems like he is just scared of commitment. I wouldn't be too worried but I would definitely have my guard up a little bit! 
Him being gone 6 months may be getting to him. My husband was very distant right before he deployed this last time. He was gone for a year but it flew by! I hope everything works out for you sweetie! Keep your head up and try to encourage him to be positive!

Answer

Maybe he wants to be with you but is scared that it won't work out like how it isn't working out for his parents. He should probably talk to someone though.

Answer

Sounds like he has a severity depression. He HAS to see a therapist to get medicine and talk ... Try to speak with him about, if he refuses ( could be) than go to a support group for relatives with depression and search for help!

Answer

Sounds like he could be depressed. It's good that he has opened up to you though. Keep on talking and sharing and hopefully you'll find out more. Good luck

Advice? No rude comments.

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