Sleeping with an ex
I need help ladies.. So my ex and I lately have been hanging out sometimes, you know like friends and it's ok. We had a bad breakup a while back and well since we work together I got over it so it wouldn't affect my job. He has a girlfriend, it's long distance and I know her but my intentions aren't bad. We would hang out like coworkers getting a drink after a long week.
So last Friday we met up and our usual spots were full and we decided to buy a small bottle and pizza and watch a movie in his car. After many drinks he ended up kissing me and I kept pushing him off of me but well I didn't succeed because we ended up sleeping together. I was furious and started fighting him as he drove me home, bringing up our break up and his girlfriend (he cheated on me w her). He ended up telling me he still has feelings for me and kissed me before I left because it was probably the last time.
Don't judge me but I don't feel so bad about the sleeping w him because 1. Not my intention, 2. She isn't here, 3. We were both very drunk. They aren't valid excuses I know. I felt like shit because he stirred up old feelings & he never told me anything when it had mattered.
I let the hangover set and avoided thinking of what we said that night but after a few days of calmly thinking it through, I've come to the conclusion that I would never ask him to leave his girlfriend for me (he would probably cheat on me all over again) I have some feelings but since him I have dated and slept with another man. I'm actually talking to someone but it isn't serious just yet although I feel he is special. I also keep thinking of "our last time sleeping together " & I wish it had been better.. So I've been thinking of maybe sleeping w him one last time.
Before anyone calls me a slut or a bitch, I really am not. I wish I could close that book on a good ending because our break up had been very sudden. I know I deserve a good man, that girl deserves a better man. What I'm asking is "is it a good idea?" Like once and done? One part of me says "I'm not a side chick, he don't deserve it, you can find better." But the other side remembers our intimate moments and tbh for now I haven't found anyone else like that.
I'm not a relationship "ruiner" I hate the "other woman" so I don't want to be her but is it possible this once it won't matter?
Ladies I appreciate u not to judge me, I come here because I don't have anyone else to talk about this to. Thank you for reading
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