Sex After Childbirth: How Long Should You Wait?

Whether you delivered vaginally or by Cesarean section (C-section), your body needs time to heal. Beyond your physical recovery, your hormones, energy level, and emotions are probably all on a rollercoaster, and also need some time to return to their usual baselines.

Here’s everything you need to know about having sex after giving birth, from when it’s safe to start again to how to make it more comfortable.

There is no universal, one-size-fits-all timeframe for when you can have sex after pregnancy. The general recommendation is that you should wait until you have a postpartum checkup before having sex so that you can get the all-clear from your doctor.

Most doctors recommend waiting at least 6 weeks after delivery to have penetrative sex. 1 2

Even with clearance, remember that “safe” doesn’t always mean “ready.” Always listen to your body and don’t rush if sex just doesn’t sound like something you don’t want to do yet.

Why you shouldn’t have sex right after giving birth

Your body is still recovering from labor and delivery. Your uterus is shrinking back to its pre-pregnancy size, you may be experiencing postpartum bleeding (known as lochia), and your cervix is closing.

It isn’t just smart to avoid sex right after giving birth—you should avoid all forms of strenuous physical activity.

During your first 15 days after pregnancy, some people recommend adhering to the “555 rule,” which translates to: 3

• 5 days of bed rest
• 5 days around the bed (meaning limited movement)
• 5 days of very light activity around the house

This is a loose guideline and not a strict rule. There’s nothing magical about those 5-day stretches; the goal is just to keep you from overdoing it until you’re ready to be a little more active. This method allows you to get enough rest while gradually increasing your physical activity.

Jumping back into sex before your body is ready can also lead to several complications. For instance, you’re more at risk of uterine infections and postpartum hemorrhage (heavy vaginal bleeding) if you have sex too soon after giving birth.

How your birthing method affects your recovery

If you gave birth naturally (i.e., not by C-section), your pelvic floor (the muscles lining your vagina that support your bladder) needs time to recover. Your cervix will also take time to get back to its pre-pregnancy size. 2 You may also be healing from a vaginal tear (perineal laceration), and having sex too early could disrupt your recovery. 4

If you gave birth via C-section, you’ll need to wait till your abdominal scar fully heals, which usually takes 6 weeks in total. 5 If you don’t wait long enough to have sex after a C-section, you could potentially open up the stitches, and your scar could get infected.

Most doctors prefer to err on the side of caution and recommend waiting a full 6 weeks to have sex, regardless of whether you gave birth vaginally or had a C-section.

Bringing a baby into the world can cause big changes in your body, so it’s natural for sex to feel different afterward.

Unfortunately, the marathon of labor, delivery, and your recovery can make postpartum sex a little painful.

What can make sex painful after giving birth?

Hormones play a massive role in both your postpartum recovery and how sex feels for you. During pregnancy, you have very high levels of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. After you give birth, these hormones plummet back to their pre-pregnancy levels—or even lower if you’re breastfeeding.

Your hormonal shifts can cause a range of issues that can make sex more painful, such as: 6

• Vaginal dryness: Low estrogen is the primary culprit behind postpartum vaginal dryness. Estrogen helps maintain natural lubrication, so when your levels are low, your vaginal tissues can become thin, dry, and more sensitive. Since breastfeeding can further lower your estrogen levels, this can make your dryness worse.
• Healing from wounds or surgery: If you had a perineal tear, an episiotomy, or a C-section, you may experience lingering pain or tenderness around the incision site. It takes time for scar tissue to heal and soften.
• Changed muscle tone: Again, if you gave birth vaginally, the muscles of your pelvic floor and vaginal canal may have stretched significantly. These muscles won’t recover right away, and it can be painful to have sex while they’re regaining their former strength and tone.
• Breast tenderness and leaking: If you’re breastfeeding, your breasts may be full, tender, and prone to leaking milk, especially when you’re aroused. This probably won’t actually be painful, but it might make you uncomfortable.
• General fatigue: The sheer exhaustion that comes with caring for a newborn can manifest as physical discomfort, including backaches, making it hard to get comfortable.

Many women find that the first few times they have sex after pregnancy can be a little painful, even 3–4 months after giving birth. The good news is that it usually gets easier with time.

If you feel pain during sex, stop what you’re doing and consider giving your body more time to recover.

If you continuously experience pain during sex or have vaginal bleeding, contact your doctor.

Feeling physically ready to have sex after giving birth is only half the story. There are also emotional issues that can make it tricky to become sexually active again.

Lack of libido

Your hormones, emotions, and your postpartum exhaustion all may influence your sex drive, or libido.

When you combine low estrogen with sleep deprivation and the overwhelming stress of caring for a tiny human, it’s a perfect storm for a low libido.

Low self-esteem

Many women worry that they won’t feel sexy or that their partners will find them unattractive after pregnancy. Again, your body goes through a lot of changes as a result of pregnancy, so it’s natural if you’re feeling self-conscious.

Try to show yourself compassion. You don’t have to worry about feeling sexy straight away, and it’s a good idea to talk with your partner, a friend, or a family member about what’s on your mind.

The physical changes of having a baby can be overwhelming, so if you find yourself consistently sad or frustrated, especially past the first few days, it may be a sign of postpartum depression or postpartum rage, and you should reach out to your doctor for treatment.

When you’re ready to be intimate again, remember that the goal is connection and pleasure. You might not return to your pre-baby sex life overnight, and that’s OK.

How to have more comfortable post-pregnancy sex

If your doctor gives you the all-clear, speak openly with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, and adjust sex to make it more comfortable. Try: 7

• Starting slowly: First off, don’t rush into sex too quickly. You could try using your fingers on your vagina to see how the sensation feels and reassure yourself that you won’t feel pain during full penetrative sex.
• Using plenty of lubricant: Vaginal dryness is one of the most common postpartum sexual complaints. Don’t hesitate to use a generous amount of a high-quality, water-based lubricant. Skip oil-based products, as they can degrade condoms and could even cause more irritation.
• Practicing Kegel exercises: These exercises build strength in your pelvic floor muscles, which support your uterus, bladder, and bowels. However, if you’re suffering from severe pelvic pain, you may find that Kegels only exacerbate it. Listen to your body, and be careful. 8
• Experimenting with positions: Certain positions may be more comfortable than others. Woman-on-top or side-lying positions often work well because they give you control over the depth and speed of penetration and keep pressure off of tender areas (e.g., your C-section scar).

Remember that sexual activity isn’t limited to penetrative sex. Spend time on foreplay, and explore other intimate activities like massage, mutual masturbation, or simply cuddling skin-to-skin.

What if you’re breastfeeding?

If you’re breastfeeding, you may also have additional complications when getting back into sex. As mentioned, being aroused can sometimes cause you to leak from your breasts. You can try nursing or pumping before sex so your breasts feel less full.

You could also try wearing a supportive nursing bra or tank top during sex to feel more comfortable.

How to boost your sex drive (outside the bedroom)

Boosting your libido and making sex enjoyable isn’t only about what you do when the clothes come off. Try to put aside some time for you and your partner, whether that means a simple at-home date night every week, or even just taking 15 minutes together while your baby is sleeping.

Simple activities like holding hands throughout the day or hugging can make you both feel more connected.

Planning for another baby might be the last thing on your mind, but if you’re sexually active again, you may be wondering how soon you could get pregnant.

The answer to this is somewhat complicated and depends on whether (and how frequently) you’re breastfeeding, since doing so can delay ovulation.

If you’re not breastfeeding, it’s possible to get pregnant again about 3 weeks after giving birth, even if you haven’t yet gotten your first period after having a baby. 6

When is it safe to get pregnant again?

It’s good to space out your pregnancies to give your body adequate time to recover. Many doctors say that you wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again, as this reduces your risk of preterm birth and other complications. 1

What contraceptive methods can you use after pregnancy?

Not all contraceptives are safe after pregnancy. For instance, if you’re breastfeeding or developed certain medical conditions during pregnancy or delivery, you won’t be able to use the combined pill, a vaginal ring, or a contraceptive patch for at least 6 weeks post-delivery.

If your doctor gives you the go-ahead to have sex before 6 weeks, you can safely use condoms. Chat with your doctor about contraception during your postpartum checkup.

Can you use breastfeeding as a contraceptive method?

Many moms rely on breastfeeding as a natural form of birth control. This is known as the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM). It’s about 98% effective when executed perfectly. 9

However, it’s not the most reliable method. You must be exclusively breastfeeding (defined as breastfeeding at least 4 hours during the day and 6 hours through the night), and your period must not have returned yet.

You can only use LAM for the first 6 months of your baby’s life. 9

While navigating sex after having a baby often comes with a few hurdles, you can usually safely and comfortably be intimate within a few months of giving birth.

However, if you’re regularly having intense pain during sex or experiencing increased vaginal bleeding, speak with your doctor. These symptoms could be the sign of an unhealed vaginal tear or an infection that needs treatment. 1

You should also speak with your doctor if you don’t have any desire for sex or have body image issues 12 months after giving birth. 1

Your sex life after having a baby won’t be the same as it was before, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be wonderful. Be patient with your body and open with your partner.

Don’t hesitate to contact your doctor if you have any pain or are concerned about becoming sexually active again. Soon enough, your postpartum sex life won’t lose out to those dirty diapers and backaches!